for Consumed10/26/2008 c1 
10Caecilia
[I released my grasp] I don't know if just saying 'my grasp' works here. It doesn't feel right to me. Maybe something like 'I released her from my grasp' may make it sound better...
Bit confused by the interaction between the girl and the vampire, but I must say, this is a good story.
Amazing imagery, great discriptions. I really have nothing bad to say.
~Caecilia, the Roadhouse
10Caecilia[I released my grasp] I don't know if just saying 'my grasp' works here. It doesn't feel right to me. Maybe something like 'I released her from my grasp' may make it sound better...
Bit confused by the interaction between the girl and the vampire, but I must say, this is a good story.
Amazing imagery, great discriptions. I really have nothing bad to say.
~Caecilia, the Roadhouse
10/24/2008 c1 FuckMeAlice
I love the whole thing. I wouldn't know where to start. I love the style, the poetic style. I love how the poetic style didn't drown the fact that this guy's a vampire and he wants his fix, if I can use that term. I love both the characters, and I love the fact that you didn't give either of them names.
I don't have any critique. Excellent job.
-Stardust from the Roadhouse.
I love the whole thing. I wouldn't know where to start. I love the style, the poetic style. I love how the poetic style didn't drown the fact that this guy's a vampire and he wants his fix, if I can use that term. I love both the characters, and I love the fact that you didn't give either of them names.
I don't have any critique. Excellent job.
-Stardust from the Roadhouse.
10/22/2008 c1 criti-sized
This was a really interesting short. The intense setting that you had it in was nice, and the idea of it was ironically humorous. There were a few times when I felt that the narration jumped a bit, but other than that nothing else.
Great short.
C.S.
The Roadhouse
This was a really interesting short. The intense setting that you had it in was nice, and the idea of it was ironically humorous. There were a few times when I felt that the narration jumped a bit, but other than that nothing else.
Great short.
C.S.
The Roadhouse
10/21/2008 c1 233siphoned afterglow
hack away? i want to fucking write like this. You build up the suspense very well. And i love the imagery in some parts.
haha, you'll have to go get your critisim from someone else. i definitely like.
233siphoned afterglowhack away? i want to fucking write like this. You build up the suspense very well. And i love the imagery in some parts.
haha, you'll have to go get your critisim from someone else. i definitely like.