for Visitor7/21/2010 c1 
121Nancy Mae
This was short but I liked it. It was intense in the little bit that was wriiten. I don't write my chapters down usually. Unless I have an idea and I'm not anywhere where I can use a computer. I type my chapters out how they come to me. I know that girls can't be faggots, but I couldn't think of another way to put it. Sorry if I offended you by writing that. My writing isn't meant to insult or offend people.Thanks for reading and reviewing my story!
121Nancy MaeThis was short but I liked it. It was intense in the little bit that was wriiten. I don't write my chapters down usually. Unless I have an idea and I'm not anywhere where I can use a computer. I type my chapters out how they come to me. I know that girls can't be faggots, but I couldn't think of another way to put it. Sorry if I offended you by writing that. My writing isn't meant to insult or offend people.Thanks for reading and reviewing my story!
11/6/2008 c1 22Alice Faraday
I like this, it's a great piece for future growth. Leaves so many questions to be answere'd. Very good, it'd make a great begining to a horror novel. Keep it up.
+MOUSE
22Alice FaradayI like this, it's a great piece for future growth. Leaves so many questions to be answere'd. Very good, it'd make a great begining to a horror novel. Keep it up.
+MOUSE
10/21/2008 c1 19S. M. Saves
It's interesting. There was a build all the way to the end.
I couldn't help but feel empty at the end of this piece. It seemed more like one naked scene out of a bigger story. I can see you building an entire novel out of this one scene. Try to build on and make this more complete.
Grammar-wise: "I saw it for myself and I wish I (hadn't)."
Good luck!
S. M. Saves
19S. M. SavesIt's interesting. There was a build all the way to the end.
I couldn't help but feel empty at the end of this piece. It seemed more like one naked scene out of a bigger story. I can see you building an entire novel out of this one scene. Try to build on and make this more complete.
Grammar-wise: "I saw it for myself and I wish I (hadn't)."
Good luck!
S. M. Saves