for The Soldier1/21/2011 c1 
6Chairo
There are a few grammatical mistakes, and some places where other words could have been used, but this one really struck home with me, as my father is in the army. I especially like the last four lines;
'For this is a war that shall never be forgot
And this place where there bodies will rot
And maybe they will notice their bravery and see
That this was the worst place man could be.'
I really liked that. :D
6ChairoThere are a few grammatical mistakes, and some places where other words could have been used, but this one really struck home with me, as my father is in the army. I especially like the last four lines;
'For this is a war that shall never be forgot
And this place where there bodies will rot
And maybe they will notice their bravery and see
That this was the worst place man could be.'
I really liked that. :D
5/1/2010 c1 12secretlycool
Amazing. You created a terrible image in my mind, but that's a good thing. ;) I got shivers. And thanks for reviewing my poem!
12secretlycoolAmazing. You created a terrible image in my mind, but that's a good thing. ;) I got shivers. And thanks for reviewing my poem!
10/24/2008 c1 7A.J Scarlet
Nice, definitely what a soldier would be thinking. How do you rhyme man, I can't do it without a poem sounding forced!
7A.J ScarletNice, definitely what a soldier would be thinking. How do you rhyme man, I can't do it without a poem sounding forced!
10/23/2008 c1 23fatbird33
you use the wrong pray the first time you use it.
"the deafening sound" hey! i wrote a war poem and used the same words. great minds think alike:) although at the end of that sentence you use the phrase "going boom" i don't think that that was effective, in fact i think it took away from the poem a bit. maybe strive for a different thing to say after "the deafening sound". overall nice poem, though!
23fatbird33you use the wrong pray the first time you use it.
"the deafening sound" hey! i wrote a war poem and used the same words. great minds think alike:) although at the end of that sentence you use the phrase "going boom" i don't think that that was effective, in fact i think it took away from the poem a bit. maybe strive for a different thing to say after "the deafening sound". overall nice poem, though!