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for I am Hero

10/24/2008 c1 24ilovetheopera
I have absolutely no respect for people who start off stories by putting character profiles. It is a very blatantly cheater/sell-out method to try and get out of character development in the body of your actual story. If anything, if you want to put a character profile for reference, you should keep it to yourself, or post it separately on another website. The reader should not be made to feel that the character profile is a part of the actual story, because it is not and should never be considered as so.

Your character profiles seem to have more effort put into them than the story itself, which is very juvenile and reeks of bad slash. Also, in some places, your grammar is incorrect.

If you could not tell, I don't think you are ready to write an original, either... and if it helps, I've been writing nearly all my life, and in all honesty I think my writing skills are far more developed than yours - but I haven't even attempted to write an original chaptered story yet.

I have read your poems as well, and they reflect the same juvenile quality (and grammatical errors), so perhaps wait a few years more and hone your skills by writing one shots or reading stories intended for a more mature audience. It would help if I knew how old you were, so I could give you objective critique, but your profile didn't say, so... I hope you don't take this the wrong way, because I really am quite hard to please.
10/24/2008 c1 RunnerGirl13
Wow. this is going to seem crazy, but i have a FanFiction account and decided to check out FictionPress and this is the first story I've read here. This is also what made me get an account (so i could review this story). So, i thought that this sounds really interesting and I can't wait to read more!

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