for Eeyore10/26/2008 c1 
30Jainblu
lol, i liked that story, i thought it was very cool. Eeyore's one of my faves too. =]
i still don't get the bit bout what she was wearing. maybe its just me. Anyway, this was a real sweet story. =]
30Jainblulol, i liked that story, i thought it was very cool. Eeyore's one of my faves too. =]
i still don't get the bit bout what she was wearing. maybe its just me. Anyway, this was a real sweet story. =]
10/25/2008 c1 53Katie Nicole
Haha.
Okay. It's kind of cute, but a bit immature, and not too believeable. That doesn't mean it's BAD... but it's definitely fiction, and a reiteration of every girl's dream.
The Eeyore aspect is ... necessary, I can understand that. But it makes Isabelle seem too immature to understand love.
I like the way you use him to compare the relationship between Isabelle and Eeyore to the relationship between Isabelle and Cameron... but I don't know.
Hint: Using full names, or even first names more than necessary, makes any piece of work seem very immature in my opinion.
Having your character spontanously spew "Cameron Mataeu Daniels" does not sound realistic AT ALL - instead it sounds like you created a character name you're proud of and needed an excuse to tell the world.
And the relationship between Isabelle and Cameron doesn't really seem romantic or even personal at all until the end. It actually seems kind of awkward and distant.
I did like that the beginning was a diary entry. It was a good way of explaining something that would have otherwise seemed out of place.
This is okay. I think if you matured it and tuned it up a little, it could be really cute.
Good luck (:
Katie
53Katie NicoleHaha.
Okay. It's kind of cute, but a bit immature, and not too believeable. That doesn't mean it's BAD... but it's definitely fiction, and a reiteration of every girl's dream.
The Eeyore aspect is ... necessary, I can understand that. But it makes Isabelle seem too immature to understand love.
I like the way you use him to compare the relationship between Isabelle and Eeyore to the relationship between Isabelle and Cameron... but I don't know.
Hint: Using full names, or even first names more than necessary, makes any piece of work seem very immature in my opinion.
Having your character spontanously spew "Cameron Mataeu Daniels" does not sound realistic AT ALL - instead it sounds like you created a character name you're proud of and needed an excuse to tell the world.
And the relationship between Isabelle and Cameron doesn't really seem romantic or even personal at all until the end. It actually seems kind of awkward and distant.
I did like that the beginning was a diary entry. It was a good way of explaining something that would have otherwise seemed out of place.
This is okay. I think if you matured it and tuned it up a little, it could be really cute.
Good luck (:
Katie
10/25/2008 c1 puturgirfaceon
o this is good! i like how you use Eeyore! it's like she finally progresses from her childhood to teenage-hood... thing... but yea! really good keep writing!
o this is good! i like how you use Eeyore! it's like she finally progresses from her childhood to teenage-hood... thing... but yea! really good keep writing!