for Beauty and the Corpse (discontinued)6/7/2009 c8 
6NarniaRiddle
-Gasp!- Well, that was unexpected. I like how you're being so creative with this story. However, there are a few spots where it seems like there wasn't enough build-up, or the reader doesn't exactly understand Sarabeth's motivation. Overall, though, good job, and UPDATE!
6NarniaRiddle-Gasp!- Well, that was unexpected. I like how you're being so creative with this story. However, there are a few spots where it seems like there wasn't enough build-up, or the reader doesn't exactly understand Sarabeth's motivation. Overall, though, good job, and UPDATE!
5/13/2009 c7 9LookinGlass
You should update.
Really.
I need more.
Okay, done with the begging.
I think that you're a wonderful writer, and I love your idea(s).
Oh, and... I lied.
Update please!
9LookinGlassYou should update.
Really.
I need more.
Okay, done with the begging.
I think that you're a wonderful writer, and I love your idea(s).
Oh, and... I lied.
Update please!
4/29/2009 c7 3FireRam
Not a bad start to the story. I like it thus far. However I think you should explain the "eye thing" that happened to Frix. Did it happen to her as well? Is it what happens when they enter the land of the dead? But a good start none the less!
3FireRamNot a bad start to the story. I like it thus far. However I think you should explain the "eye thing" that happened to Frix. Did it happen to her as well? Is it what happens when they enter the land of the dead? But a good start none the less!
4/23/2009 c7 6NarniaRiddle
Wow. You did a wonderful job setting the mood. The descriptions are very good, as well.
However, you might want to work on the flow of your sentences. For example, in the sentence, "They both had reluctantly settled down in fear of annoying their guide away (though Frix did give a yelp when Sarabeth kicked his knee)," instead of using parentheses, you could've used a comma or a dash. The parentheses make it seem choppy, I think. It's the same thing with, "It just stopped in the middle of the small trail (not even complaining when Sarabeth walked right into its rear), ears forward, eyes wide." (You might want to rearrange the sentence in this case. Maybe, "It just stopped in the middle of the small trail, ears forward and eyes wide. It didn't even complain when Sarabeth walked right into its rear."
Ack! Enough of that. Update soon! I want to know what happens next!
6NarniaRiddleWow. You did a wonderful job setting the mood. The descriptions are very good, as well.
However, you might want to work on the flow of your sentences. For example, in the sentence, "They both had reluctantly settled down in fear of annoying their guide away (though Frix did give a yelp when Sarabeth kicked his knee)," instead of using parentheses, you could've used a comma or a dash. The parentheses make it seem choppy, I think. It's the same thing with, "It just stopped in the middle of the small trail (not even complaining when Sarabeth walked right into its rear), ears forward, eyes wide." (You might want to rearrange the sentence in this case. Maybe, "It just stopped in the middle of the small trail, ears forward and eyes wide. It didn't even complain when Sarabeth walked right into its rear."
Ack! Enough of that. Update soon! I want to know what happens next!
2/21/2009 c3 1Hyperkitty
First of all, you’re a great author. I love the way you write and your stories are amazing – I never get bored, your word choice is excellent. I read ‘The Naken’ and started to read this fic. I loved The Naken and I’m loving this one ^^
It’s sad what happened to Sarabeth (love the name by the way) and her brother. I can see an evil vein in you :3
I’m looking forward to keep reading the rest of the chapters and start reading another fic done by you.
Keep it up!
~*~Kitty~*~
1HyperkittyFirst of all, you’re a great author. I love the way you write and your stories are amazing – I never get bored, your word choice is excellent. I read ‘The Naken’ and started to read this fic. I loved The Naken and I’m loving this one ^^
It’s sad what happened to Sarabeth (love the name by the way) and her brother. I can see an evil vein in you :3
I’m looking forward to keep reading the rest of the chapters and start reading another fic done by you.
Keep it up!
~*~Kitty~*~
1/28/2009 c6 cic24
Hello there, you might just recognize my username from an earlier much longer reveiw (muahahaha) so I finished and said to myself "gee what the heck, I'll read another story" it inevitibly was this one because it was reletivly short and as you might know I'm supposed to be studying right now... Well anyway I am also majorly enjoying this story to (suprise suprise) and offer you words of encouragement... I would if I could think of any right now but my English midterm sucked all my vocabulary away today, so imagin I'm giveing you words of encouragement, you should get the same warm fuzzy feelngs IF my manual wasn't lying to me... That right there was a very sad exscuss for joke my friends... I'm done now, I'll just stop before the national guard comes a'knockin on my door
Again your loyal reader,
Cicely
Hello there, you might just recognize my username from an earlier much longer reveiw (muahahaha) so I finished and said to myself "gee what the heck, I'll read another story" it inevitibly was this one because it was reletivly short and as you might know I'm supposed to be studying right now... Well anyway I am also majorly enjoying this story to (suprise suprise) and offer you words of encouragement... I would if I could think of any right now but my English midterm sucked all my vocabulary away today, so imagin I'm giveing you words of encouragement, you should get the same warm fuzzy feelngs IF my manual wasn't lying to me... That right there was a very sad exscuss for joke my friends... I'm done now, I'll just stop before the national guard comes a'knockin on my door
Again your loyal reader,
Cicely
1/26/2009 c6 9MaskedNightingale
Great chapter, a bit freaky too. Good combination of drama and...lost my train of thought, sorry :)
What happened to his eye?
Something definitly fishy is going on.
And I can't wait for more.
9MaskedNightingaleGreat chapter, a bit freaky too. Good combination of drama and...lost my train of thought, sorry :)
What happened to his eye?
Something definitly fishy is going on.
And I can't wait for more.
1/23/2009 c6 4Mary Chrys
Sorry that I keep alerting all of your stories. I should just put you on my alerts...hm. I am rather brilliant, aren't I? But what I was saying...you're a fantastic writer. Really.
4Mary ChrysSorry that I keep alerting all of your stories. I should just put you on my alerts...hm. I am rather brilliant, aren't I? But what I was saying...you're a fantastic writer. Really.
1/5/2009 c5 9MaskedNightingale
Uh-oh, why is the wolf growling and why is she about to scream if its her brother? Comes down to one thing. SOmething is terribly wrong. Not good. Please update as soon as you can. Thanks.
9MaskedNightingaleUh-oh, why is the wolf growling and why is she about to scream if its her brother? Comes down to one thing. SOmething is terribly wrong. Not good. Please update as soon as you can. Thanks.