for Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better7/8/2012 c2 Starcrazed
You're Awesome Good Luck Out there.
You're Awesome Good Luck Out there.
7/5/2012 c2 
2LDS Dreamer
I just want to say I'm glad you know what you want to do. :) I can't be mad about that. Thank you for writing this story in particular. It was nice. I hope you the best. :)
2LDS DreamerI just want to say I'm glad you know what you want to do. :) I can't be mad about that. Thank you for writing this story in particular. It was nice. I hope you the best. :)
7/4/2012 c2 372898
Awww I'm sad to see you go! Best of luck with anything you do! Thank you for your amazing stories!
372898Awww I'm sad to see you go! Best of luck with anything you do! Thank you for your amazing stories!
2/1/2012 c4 Person
I Think this story has wonderful potential, and I really enjoyed reading it. It's very commendable that you continued and wrote a story (especially attempting nanowrimo).
In terms of constructive criticism, I would say that your characters are a little too one dimensional and stereotypical- meaning, they aren't fully flushed, and don't seem like real people. He's that arrogant handsome guy, she's that writer character, and etc.
Nonetheless, it's really fun to read, and has great pacing. Thanks for sharing! Don't stop writing!
I Think this story has wonderful potential, and I really enjoyed reading it. It's very commendable that you continued and wrote a story (especially attempting nanowrimo).
In terms of constructive criticism, I would say that your characters are a little too one dimensional and stereotypical- meaning, they aren't fully flushed, and don't seem like real people. He's that arrogant handsome guy, she's that writer character, and etc.
Nonetheless, it's really fun to read, and has great pacing. Thanks for sharing! Don't stop writing!
12/7/2011 c25 MissKukyMonster
Thank you for your story! I really enjoyed it and it is one of the better ones that I have read. It had an interesting plot, life like characters, and enough description to make me live the story. And I only write reviews for stories that I really enjoy. Thank you!
Thank you for your story! I really enjoyed it and it is one of the better ones that I have read. It had an interesting plot, life like characters, and enough description to make me live the story. And I only write reviews for stories that I really enjoy. Thank you!
11/1/2011 c1 1Elaina McKenzie Sharpe
Wow. Rachel sounds like...me. There are papers and notebooks all over my room and I know exaclty where everything is. Most of the time. Lol. I can't wait to see what happens. Based on your summary, this is going to be a great battle of the sexes. It's almost like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I loved that movie. Don't worry though, it's not the same. Just in that movie this lady was trying to get this guy to dump her and he was trying to get her to break up with him.
Ehem, anyway. I liked your desriptions. It really takes you to the places. And the fact that Rachel is aso obviously not perfect makes it great too. I hate reading stories about prefect little balls of perfect energized perfectness. Keep up the good work!
1Elaina McKenzie SharpeWow. Rachel sounds like...me. There are papers and notebooks all over my room and I know exaclty where everything is. Most of the time. Lol. I can't wait to see what happens. Based on your summary, this is going to be a great battle of the sexes. It's almost like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I loved that movie. Don't worry though, it's not the same. Just in that movie this lady was trying to get this guy to dump her and he was trying to get her to break up with him.
Ehem, anyway. I liked your desriptions. It really takes you to the places. And the fact that Rachel is aso obviously not perfect makes it great too. I hate reading stories about prefect little balls of perfect energized perfectness. Keep up the good work!
7/7/2011 c25 2CityBlackOut
YAY! You gave me an epilogue! Not many people write them and it really saddens me because, sure i'm happy they're together and in love and aware at the end, there's not real assertion that the near future is damn peachy and comfortable. So thanks:) although i was hoping for an appearance by . . . A certain yummy guy? Hehe greg is adorable :)
Just on the side, there are some bits of dialogue and plot throughout the story that don't conclude or follow up or get resolved. Just little bits here and there that get quite distracting and move off in tangents that don't go anywhere. This stops it from being a well rounded piece, rather being just a finished piece as a whole.
Also, i've noticed that with this story and others you.ve written, you tend to leave out alot of the wider setting. You have her house, the cafe, the way to the lakehouse, and the lakehouse. And kind of his apartment. It kind of gets to the point where i'm wondering, okay, they're in the states but . . .Where? There's this massive gap where the city setting or the town setting or the suburban setting is just not there. I get that, sometimes, it takes away attention from the story at hand, but sometimes i just want to know where these characters are coming from, without you blatantly telling me.
You humor is brilliant by the way, and double fudge points for having mint chocolate as favourite icecream flavour! :D your characters are strong, although we could've seen more of caleb. . . Who was kinda there, but not there. If you get what i mean. X3 you often have cute, fluffy and quirkly named dogs that really tickle me, in a good way and really add to the story. However, i wouldn't mind seeing you have a teeny little dog or pet instead, because i think you'd be able to do it well and humorously. :)
I enjoyed reading your stuff, especially when it's completed winkwink, and i'll be looking out for updates :D
2CityBlackOutYAY! You gave me an epilogue! Not many people write them and it really saddens me because, sure i'm happy they're together and in love and aware at the end, there's not real assertion that the near future is damn peachy and comfortable. So thanks:) although i was hoping for an appearance by . . . A certain yummy guy? Hehe greg is adorable :)
Just on the side, there are some bits of dialogue and plot throughout the story that don't conclude or follow up or get resolved. Just little bits here and there that get quite distracting and move off in tangents that don't go anywhere. This stops it from being a well rounded piece, rather being just a finished piece as a whole.
Also, i've noticed that with this story and others you.ve written, you tend to leave out alot of the wider setting. You have her house, the cafe, the way to the lakehouse, and the lakehouse. And kind of his apartment. It kind of gets to the point where i'm wondering, okay, they're in the states but . . .Where? There's this massive gap where the city setting or the town setting or the suburban setting is just not there. I get that, sometimes, it takes away attention from the story at hand, but sometimes i just want to know where these characters are coming from, without you blatantly telling me.
You humor is brilliant by the way, and double fudge points for having mint chocolate as favourite icecream flavour! :D your characters are strong, although we could've seen more of caleb. . . Who was kinda there, but not there. If you get what i mean. X3 you often have cute, fluffy and quirkly named dogs that really tickle me, in a good way and really add to the story. However, i wouldn't mind seeing you have a teeny little dog or pet instead, because i think you'd be able to do it well and humorously. :)
I enjoyed reading your stuff, especially when it's completed winkwink, and i'll be looking out for updates :D
4/23/2011 c6 angelic123
Oohh...A TWEEST.
You got me there. I thought it'd be the typical "argue with each other, then fall in love" story. But you proved me wrong. D: Good. I like how it's going to far. Thought you'd like to know :3 Kekeke.
ON TO DA NEXT CHAPPIE.
Oohh...A TWEEST.
You got me there. I thought it'd be the typical "argue with each other, then fall in love" story. But you proved me wrong. D: Good. I like how it's going to far. Thought you'd like to know :3 Kekeke.
ON TO DA NEXT CHAPPIE.
4/1/2011 c25 sweetpea265
I liked it! :) Cute ending. There is the loose end with the mother, but maybe that will be in a sequel or something.
I liked it! :) Cute ending. There is the loose end with the mother, but maybe that will be in a sequel or something.
4/1/2011 c20 sweetpea265
What's something that doesn't make sense and needs explaining?
You use the phrase "I lovers you" repeatedly. Is this a typo or is there a back story as to why they say "lovers ya" instead of "love you".
What's something that doesn't make sense and needs explaining?
You use the phrase "I lovers you" repeatedly. Is this a typo or is there a back story as to why they say "lovers ya" instead of "love you".
4/1/2011 c14 sweetpea265
I'm still liking this story. It's pretty much the first story like this I've come across. Loving all the sarcastic humor. Kind of wish there was a little more of a back story with Greg, but I'm not sure if you just wrote the story to be a fun story to read or one with well built characters. Anyways, there's still about ten chapters to go though so back to reading I go. :)
I'm still liking this story. It's pretty much the first story like this I've come across. Loving all the sarcastic humor. Kind of wish there was a little more of a back story with Greg, but I'm not sure if you just wrote the story to be a fun story to read or one with well built characters. Anyways, there's still about ten chapters to go though so back to reading I go. :)
4/1/2011 c6 sweetpea265
I'm liking this story so far. A minor mistake I wanted to point out real quick in the last few sentences I think you meant "blow a gasket" instead of casket. Other than that I'm liking your writing. :)
I'm liking this story so far. A minor mistake I wanted to point out real quick in the last few sentences I think you meant "blow a gasket" instead of casket. Other than that I'm liking your writing. :)
2/11/2011 c25 2readlife
Read this all in one go! It's very entertaining and flows very well. I'm going to miss Sophie, Greg, and of course Rachel. The setting is also original, especially for something found on FictionPress (not that everything is bad quality, but many stories are just slightly different versions of one another). Really liked it and now I have to check out more of your stories...
2readlifeRead this all in one go! It's very entertaining and flows very well. I'm going to miss Sophie, Greg, and of course Rachel. The setting is also original, especially for something found on FictionPress (not that everything is bad quality, but many stories are just slightly different versions of one another). Really liked it and now I have to check out more of your stories...