Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Deviant

11/4/2008 c1 10Caecilia
[He's ethnically mixed with Caucasian and Black] I just don't think that this sentence flows very well. It may sound better to say something like [his ethnicity was a mix of Caucasian and Black] Though, so far that seems like meaningless detail.

This is a very interesting beginning to a story. I've never read anything like this before, and it's pretty good, though sometimes it seems like what Heath says, or the Pastor says is dramatic just for the effect of being dramatic.

Good job, though.

~Caecilia, the Roadhouse

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service