for To You, Love Me12/27/2008 c1 
7Silencia
... ;-; that was beautiful! It made me cry! This will definitely win!
Grtz Silencia
7Silencia... ;-; that was beautiful! It made me cry! This will definitely win!
Grtz Silencia
12/22/2008 c1 29Leaves of Labefaction
Aw. Wow. The first thing I thought when I read "I'll meet you at the intersection," was "That's not a very good idea." And, I was right! *Sigh*
To tell you the truth, my first thought in the beginning was that it was just going to be a love poem. But the story is really good and the ending so sad.
"I watched our ghosts kiss in the rain."
Beautiful, depressing. Lately they seem to mean the same thing, don't they?
-LoL
29Leaves of LabefactionAw. Wow. The first thing I thought when I read "I'll meet you at the intersection," was "That's not a very good idea." And, I was right! *Sigh*
To tell you the truth, my first thought in the beginning was that it was just going to be a love poem. But the story is really good and the ending so sad.
"I watched our ghosts kiss in the rain."
Beautiful, depressing. Lately they seem to mean the same thing, don't they?
-LoL
11/12/2008 c1 faeriedeep
As is? Progressive, mature developement of thought. Amazing concept of Dear You Love Me! Excellent because it takes me somewhere else (I think all good writing leaves room to the reader's imagination). Perspective is always golden and so I wondered, what if this story was not being told by the love struck girl (and I guess I really mean struk dead!)? What if all this is just the thoughts of a passerby who happened to see the accident and imagined this to be the story? What if the death is symbolc of regret, perhaps a mother who loved someone when she was young but never showed up that night and now looks back over her life and wondered if love inside of her died that night? You say you normally kill everyone off in your work. Well, hm it's obvious that's where the poem is going... so what if you really blow this wide open and leave the reader totally confused and questioning themselves and life and LOVE and loss and authority! Don't be so obvious with the funeral. I say this because death is easy, it's final. It's life that's so dang hard. Your poem really is VERY good. So like everything that's worth it, make your reader work some one this one. I'll upload a poem of mine that I think does what I'm saying...just in case this is all just my silly ramblings as usual and I'm making no sense. Gheez! Okay so really, this is amazing in that it tells an entire story in such short of space... You could totally leave it alone and it'd win points in my book...a GAZILLION POINTS, but for the heck of it add that extra dimension to this...leave me screaming for an answer/ending and that will take it to the next level.
As is? Progressive, mature developement of thought. Amazing concept of Dear You Love Me! Excellent because it takes me somewhere else (I think all good writing leaves room to the reader's imagination). Perspective is always golden and so I wondered, what if this story was not being told by the love struck girl (and I guess I really mean struk dead!)? What if all this is just the thoughts of a passerby who happened to see the accident and imagined this to be the story? What if the death is symbolc of regret, perhaps a mother who loved someone when she was young but never showed up that night and now looks back over her life and wondered if love inside of her died that night? You say you normally kill everyone off in your work. Well, hm it's obvious that's where the poem is going... so what if you really blow this wide open and leave the reader totally confused and questioning themselves and life and LOVE and loss and authority! Don't be so obvious with the funeral. I say this because death is easy, it's final. It's life that's so dang hard. Your poem really is VERY good. So like everything that's worth it, make your reader work some one this one. I'll upload a poem of mine that I think does what I'm saying...just in case this is all just my silly ramblings as usual and I'm making no sense. Gheez! Okay so really, this is amazing in that it tells an entire story in such short of space... You could totally leave it alone and it'd win points in my book...a GAZILLION POINTS, but for the heck of it add that extra dimension to this...leave me screaming for an answer/ending and that will take it to the next level.