
11/22/2008 c1
871no.peace.los.angeles
Fascinating poem. I like all the music references; the title is pretty phenomenal, too. Really liked that line about the x-ray. Completely different than anything I've seen before. Lovely. Keep writing! :)

Fascinating poem. I like all the music references; the title is pretty phenomenal, too. Really liked that line about the x-ray. Completely different than anything I've seen before. Lovely. Keep writing! :)
11/20/2008 c1
612simpleplan13
The punctuation bothered me a bit. Ending it with a period 'cause I think there are a few other sentences in there. Other than that I liked the hyphens and the colon, it work well.
I also liked capitalizing those two words towards the end, it really emphasized them well. Your descriptions are nice, I like music references and the xray image. Nice job.

The punctuation bothered me a bit. Ending it with a period 'cause I think there are a few other sentences in there. Other than that I liked the hyphens and the colon, it work well.
I also liked capitalizing those two words towards the end, it really emphasized them well. Your descriptions are nice, I like music references and the xray image. Nice job.