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for Fade to Black

7/9/2004 c1 17the mouse that roared
Wow. That was a good piece. I really like the idea and attitude. The character is very realistic. I think you should add a few other sensory descriptions-the sounds of police's feet tapping on the roof, or the pain of the knife, things like that so that people can touch it. Right now there are good thought processes, however. Also, I think you need to work on some of your word choices. Other than that, it is a great idea and a very good start.
3/7/2003 c1 5Naja Copperleaf
I really like the title, and your writing is very good. Impressive. ;)
5/5/2001 c1 4DavePoole24
Powerful stuff!
4/30/2001 c1 3Seroci
Exceptionally written. I love the passage " Of course it has to be this way. If I had a choice about it, you think I would be up here? Destiny exists. There's no two ways about it. Maybe some have the ability to control it, take hold of it, shape it to what they want, some don't. I don't. Mine is like a car spiraling out of control. A long, downward spiral." Never in my dreams could I write something that could match that. Beautiful all the way around.
4/20/2001 c1 Snark
Thou are God.

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