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8/13/2012 c1 6Nobody-n-Particular
This has quite a bit of energy! Like a complicated dance.
4/30/2012 c1 292Fabian Cortez
Wonderful. Nothing more needs to be said here.

Fabian Cortez
1/1/2012 c1 287Archia
I really enjoyed the description. To be honest, I wouldn't have guessed it was rain until you said it, and I'm not sure if I like it more now that I know. It makes more sense, but then, before I could let my imagination conjure up something. "Particles separating and

colliding for the sole purpose

of creating something beautiful," I love those three lines so much.
3/20/2011 c1 28Michael Kelso
I like it to the left, it looks like it's growing. Like you're descending a staircase to something. It makes me wonder how big it would be if you kept going.
3/29/2010 c1 24Elennar
Wow. This is a great poem that you have here!

My favourite image is the one that the poem starts with- just lovely and very powerful.

I also loved the last two lines.



3/8/2010 c1 4lookingwest
XD, Okay, so I copied and pasted this review in it's rightful place, if you find time you can by all means delete the oopsie-one in A Goodbye!

I actually liked this a lot for it's short imagist flavor. Would I have known it was referring to rain? No. But, without that background information I liked it for it's desperation and that line "lapse in sanity" really pulls it together for me as sort of a moment of perhaps anger that was un-controlled. I like that idea and you certainly use wonderful words to convey it, "colliding for the sole purpose" and "crushing" and "my hand through glass" all paint that picture and I like those lines because they were your strongest in my opinion.
2/13/2010 c1 105Hisa-Ai
Wicked, I think that's really cool.
12/30/2009 c1 26Mirabella
It reminds me of a clock ticking. :)

Nicely done!
12/22/2009 c1 Isca
I love the way in which "a momentary lapse in sanity" metaphorically connects to the sound of crushing glass. That's very thought-provoking and vivid.
12/14/2009 c1 22lipleaf
I think your poem is better off to the left. The way the lines slowly grow longer is aesthetically appealing. :) This does indeed seem random, but it was interesting. I like the way you used "created by a momentary lapse in sanity." It insinuates the existence of a higher being, one that enjoys making beautiful things. I'm not sure how to explain it- it kind of seems like a roundabout way of saying our world is beautiful.
9/7/2009 c1 7you're sick
Haha, very good! The very last line is my favorite. The poem comes in really close into simple things and then broadens to make you realize what you just did. I liked it a lot.
9/7/2009 c1 63Saurosuchus
I prefer it how you formatted it. this is a very nice poem. I love the imagery of the sound. a bit unique, but very well done.
9/6/2009 c1 9LoonyLuna
:O I loved it...especially the bit about particles separating and colliding...reminded me of my chemistry classes. Wow..very ambiguous..me like :)
8/20/2009 c1 64fatbird33

This is you present for being amazing in the review marathon. yayness!

i think that i like this particular poem to the left. I think it all depends on what the content of the poem is on whether to have it centered or not.

now to the poem itself...

when i first read it i was like 'what?" but then i reread it and it made sense:) it's always good when you can do that i think, make the reader do a double take, it shows that you have mad skills.

I liked your line "crushing together like my hand through glass" ouch. great imagery.

i also liked the word choice of "slendor" it seemed to fit perfectly.

Just one grammar thing: I think that there should be a comma between the first and second lines. It would flow better that way.

Overall great peice of poetry.

7/12/2009 c1 12Imminent Paradox
Wow... that is REALLY good... It's hard to explain. But it's definitely a lovely piece. I had to read it over a few times, just so I could try and wrap my head around it. Very nice :) Amazing job!
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