for Best Kept Secret8/4/2009 c1 
4k.maag
This story is perfectly creepy; I enjoyed it very much.
I like the lazy talent behind this story; I can tell you didn't try very hard, and it's still good.
My only suggestion is to watch your comma usage; it gets kind of muddy at points.
Good job!
4k.maagThis story is perfectly creepy; I enjoyed it very much.
I like the lazy talent behind this story; I can tell you didn't try very hard, and it's still good.
My only suggestion is to watch your comma usage; it gets kind of muddy at points.
Good job!
2/11/2009 c1 9Narq
The stranger is James' father, isn't he?
Brr.. I got goosebumps by reading that!
Great work!
9NarqThe stranger is James' father, isn't he?
Brr.. I got goosebumps by reading that!
Great work!
12/2/2008 c1 3Keelin N
I hope you do continue with this story. The description in it is so lovely and effortless. The only downside was that it was short... which could be a good thing because now I’m completely interested and waiting for another chapter.
3Keelin NI hope you do continue with this story. The description in it is so lovely and effortless. The only downside was that it was short... which could be a good thing because now I’m completely interested and waiting for another chapter.
11/23/2008 c1 21Sercus Kaynine
I'm reviewing for the Review Game's Review Marathon. (link on profile)
I loved the style you wrote this in. It gave the piece and old fashioned feel that fit nicely with the time period the story was set in.
The one thing that really bothered me was the spacing between paragraphs. You really should double space between paragraph. Otherwise it's really hard to read. This really put off the flow of the story and left me, as a reader, frustrated.
That said, this wasn't a half-bad beginning. Good luck writing this!
21Sercus KaynineI'm reviewing for the Review Game's Review Marathon. (link on profile)
I loved the style you wrote this in. It gave the piece and old fashioned feel that fit nicely with the time period the story was set in.
The one thing that really bothered me was the spacing between paragraphs. You really should double space between paragraph. Otherwise it's really hard to read. This really put off the flow of the story and left me, as a reader, frustrated.
That said, this wasn't a half-bad beginning. Good luck writing this!