12/23/2008 c1 44Stormer
A few suggestions:

"We’re so fragile, yet so blind"

I don't know that 'yet' is the right word here? maybe you don't need a word at all...

"Do not try to hind"

Did you mean 'hide'? If not then i don't know what you meant but that could be my ignorance :)

The last word not rhyming with the lines before, I found a tiny but offputting...but I'm not saying that you always have to rhyme! I did like the last line though and think it makes a good last line.

I really liked this overall 'cause I can feel the rhythm of it - I can imagine it being a song, definitely!