for You Changed Everything12/6/2008 c9 
23Jem the writer
I don't usually go for stories like this, but there you go!
I think you did a good job with the theme you've got going there. You've made it seem believable and realistic!
The only thing I think there is to improve on is the violence themes. Perhaps a bit more emotion conveyed into them would really make the reader /feel/.
Good job
23Jem the writerI don't usually go for stories like this, but there you go!
I think you did a good job with the theme you've got going there. You've made it seem believable and realistic!
The only thing I think there is to improve on is the violence themes. Perhaps a bit more emotion conveyed into them would really make the reader /feel/.
Good job