
12/2/2008 c1
73An Inside Joke
I like all the details, which help the scenes really come to life. Sometimes, the language feels stilted, like you're trying to force a poetic tone, which isn't really necessary. Likewise, a story this concrete needs a less ambiguous ending, I feel, unless this is the first chapter of a longer story.

I like all the details, which help the scenes really come to life. Sometimes, the language feels stilted, like you're trying to force a poetic tone, which isn't really necessary. Likewise, a story this concrete needs a less ambiguous ending, I feel, unless this is the first chapter of a longer story.