for Time Bomb4/3/2010 c1 
5Penn Dalies
It makes me wonder whether your talking generally, or that like most bombs today-things in our lives explode to make other things explode at a much greater magnitude. Like a ripple effect in the water. One explosion leads to another.
5Penn DaliesIt makes me wonder whether your talking generally, or that like most bombs today-things in our lives explode to make other things explode at a much greater magnitude. Like a ripple effect in the water. One explosion leads to another.
7/24/2009 c1 26Mirabella
Love it!
Nice comparison, and i like the dot dot dots at the end! Seems continuous, as if the bomb still ticks. :)
26MirabellaLove it!
Nice comparison, and i like the dot dot dots at the end! Seems continuous, as if the bomb still ticks. :)
7/20/2009 c1 17bunny.one.three
Wow, I agree, life is like a time bomb. You wrote this poem quite well, I like how you play with those words and how meaningful they sound... Nice job.^^
17bunny.one.threeWow, I agree, life is like a time bomb. You wrote this poem quite well, I like how you play with those words and how meaningful they sound... Nice job.^^
7/15/2009 c1 obscene-teen
love this!
it's short, but it really does sum up life completely.
the rhyming scheme was great + made it flow very nicely.
and i loved the image of a time bomb sitting on the side of the road and no one notices it until it goes off. (idk, maybe that's not what you were going for, but that's what i pictured haha)
overall, it was great :]
love this!
it's short, but it really does sum up life completely.
the rhyming scheme was great + made it flow very nicely.
and i loved the image of a time bomb sitting on the side of the road and no one notices it until it goes off. (idk, maybe that's not what you were going for, but that's what i pictured haha)
overall, it was great :]
6/17/2009 c1 fleur de l'est
A very good metaphor. That's what makes life beautiful and horrendous xD
I loved the rhyme too, it almost sounds like the ticking of a bomb.
~fleur
A very good metaphor. That's what makes life beautiful and horrendous xD
I loved the rhyme too, it almost sounds like the ticking of a bomb.
~fleur
4/21/2009 c1 91MyInspiration
you for sure can make this longer. the last line especially could be after a bit of a longer poem.
i love the idea, and i love the "undetected...unsuspected" lines but you write "sitting" twice in a row
91MyInspirationyou for sure can make this longer. the last line especially could be after a bit of a longer poem.
i love the idea, and i love the "undetected...unsuspected" lines but you write "sitting" twice in a row
3/24/2009 c1 879Moondog Dozier
Very true in alot of ways. The reader can interpret and include their own personal experiences into this because it is broad based and universal. Well written.
879Moondog DozierVery true in alot of ways. The reader can interpret and include their own personal experiences into this because it is broad based and universal. Well written.
2/13/2009 c1 13ZajblueZz
This poem reminded me of some of the things that have gone through my head before. This poem seems to show how life can keep on going, and then, suddenly, everything can blow up in your face. Great job for such a short piece.
13ZajblueZzThis poem reminded me of some of the things that have gone through my head before. This poem seems to show how life can keep on going, and then, suddenly, everything can blow up in your face. Great job for such a short piece.
2/7/2009 c1 51drippingdreams
This reminds me a little bit of one of my favourite Slam Performance pieces by Katie Wirsing. One of her lines is "some days life feels like a distant version of tick tick boom."
I especially like the image of life sitting on the side of the road. I can imagine it, sort of edgy and sullen, crumpled hoodie, biding...
Thanks for the R/R!
51drippingdreamsThis reminds me a little bit of one of my favourite Slam Performance pieces by Katie Wirsing. One of her lines is "some days life feels like a distant version of tick tick boom."
I especially like the image of life sitting on the side of the road. I can imagine it, sort of edgy and sullen, crumpled hoodie, biding...
Thanks for the R/R!