for Personality12/9/2008 c1 
6Jacalyn Hyde
This was truly amusing, it made me smile. You might want to revise the summary though, it's very vague and self-critical, it made me think "do I really want to read this?" It's interesting that you said you wrote this three years ago, I'm always amazed when I look at my old stories. I like the minimal details, it reads like a script and lets the reader decide most of the scene in their own way. Very nice.
6Jacalyn HydeThis was truly amusing, it made me smile. You might want to revise the summary though, it's very vague and self-critical, it made me think "do I really want to read this?" It's interesting that you said you wrote this three years ago, I'm always amazed when I look at my old stories. I like the minimal details, it reads like a script and lets the reader decide most of the scene in their own way. Very nice.