for Catcher2/11/2010 c2 
99Dreamers-Requiem
Really good chapter, it was powerful and I think you managed to capture her feelings really well. The way you built it up was skillfully done as well, and I liked how it was a gradual process, as well as the way she slowly realised that he waas using fire against her.
99Dreamers-RequiemReally good chapter, it was powerful and I think you managed to capture her feelings really well. The way you built it up was skillfully done as well, and I liked how it was a gradual process, as well as the way she slowly realised that he waas using fire against her.
2/10/2010 c1 Dreamers-Requiem
Strong opening, I think it was slightly confusing but in a really good, I can't wait to read more kind of way. And I love her name. It's different, it stands out. Actually, same for the whole chapter - it really made me intrigued. Can't think of any typos or anything that I feel, right now, needs to be corrected. I look forward to reading the next chapter tomorrow.
Strong opening, I think it was slightly confusing but in a really good, I can't wait to read more kind of way. And I love her name. It's different, it stands out. Actually, same for the whole chapter - it really made me intrigued. Can't think of any typos or anything that I feel, right now, needs to be corrected. I look forward to reading the next chapter tomorrow.
7/31/2009 c1 2F. Duplaire
Wow. Wow. Wow!
This was absolutely fantastic! You really have a way with words. By the end of it, I kind of felt like I was Avalene, or was at least able to relate to her on a pretty deep level. I don't really have much else to say other than that this was great and I'm looking forward to reading more!
2F. DuplaireWow. Wow. Wow!
This was absolutely fantastic! You really have a way with words. By the end of it, I kind of felt like I was Avalene, or was at least able to relate to her on a pretty deep level. I don't really have much else to say other than that this was great and I'm looking forward to reading more!
7/21/2009 c3 TymCon
Omg hes a *. Oh poor girl. I didnt read last one but this is not an info dump:D Awesome chapter
Omg hes a *. Oh poor girl. I didnt read last one but this is not an info dump:D Awesome chapter
7/21/2009 c2 TymCon
i thought you did the pain well, ive never been burned but anymore description and it wouldve been really like dragged out:P good chapter
i thought you did the pain well, ive never been burned but anymore description and it wouldve been really like dragged out:P good chapter
7/17/2009 c2 C. M. Levy
You write very well in this pov so Avalene's pain was well constructed. I really enjoy reading this story just because of the way you write. Plus the actual story is pretty amazing as well :P
You write very well in this pov so Avalene's pain was well constructed. I really enjoy reading this story just because of the way you write. Plus the actual story is pretty amazing as well :P
7/17/2009 c1 C. M. Levy
:D I love this already. You have a brilliant writing style that's so easy to read. I'm really looking forward to reading more.
Thanks for the review on The Citadel
:D I love this already. You have a brilliant writing style that's so easy to read. I'm really looking forward to reading more.
Thanks for the review on The Citadel
7/16/2009 c1 Counting Petals
I like this. I have no idea what's going on yet, but that's part of the fun, because you've got me interested enough to read more. (I have a really short attention span, so this is an accomplishment, haha.) I really liked the balance between the action and her thoughts - you did that very well.
Can't wait to read more!
I like this. I have no idea what's going on yet, but that's part of the fun, because you've got me interested enough to read more. (I have a really short attention span, so this is an accomplishment, haha.) I really liked the balance between the action and her thoughts - you did that very well.
Can't wait to read more!
4/17/2009 c3 61RazorStar
I've only gone through chapter 3, but this chapter seemed to drag on quite a bit. I understand that it was for developing your character, but some parts just seemed to drag on. You have a good use of vocabulary though, and you left the end interesting.
61RazorStarI've only gone through chapter 3, but this chapter seemed to drag on quite a bit. I understand that it was for developing your character, but some parts just seemed to drag on. You have a good use of vocabulary though, and you left the end interesting.
4/12/2009 c3 Spurlunk
I actually really really like this story. My eyes hurt reading bunches of text on the computer so on fictionpress I go for lighter stuff, but yours is actually very very well written. I like how you've got so much description but keep the reader's attention, it is something I'd like to learn how to do better. Your third chapter was very useful, because I was getting very curious about Avalene's background. Your story reminds me of the Poison Study series by Maria V. Snyder.
I actually really really like this story. My eyes hurt reading bunches of text on the computer so on fictionpress I go for lighter stuff, but yours is actually very very well written. I like how you've got so much description but keep the reader's attention, it is something I'd like to learn how to do better. Your third chapter was very useful, because I was getting very curious about Avalene's background. Your story reminds me of the Poison Study series by Maria V. Snyder.
3/23/2009 c3 Jubileyn
Oh, Marrok is S-C-A-R-Y! I'm glad I have a name to put with the voice. Poor Avalene. Her past is really interesting but terribly sad, of course. I feel so bad for her parents; they must have gone crazy with worry when they came home and Avalene was gone too.
Oh, Marrok is S-C-A-R-Y! I'm glad I have a name to put with the voice. Poor Avalene. Her past is really interesting but terribly sad, of course. I feel so bad for her parents; they must have gone crazy with worry when they came home and Avalene was gone too.