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6/17/2009 c1 8castiel89
Great re-start to the story. I personally like it better than just jumping into Jess's p.o.v. I like how it gave a little insight to their worlds before seeing it through their eyes.
6/16/2009 c3 2ishani acuinatum.ashley
cool...i actually like the changes...do bring on the next chapters soon...u hav thm written already, right?


6/16/2009 c3 chng234
dash is quite rebelious... i wonder who can tame him
6/16/2009 c3 5xxchristiexx
Another awesome update. I like how you've added the twitter and perez hilton reference. You know he's really made it when he's being talked about on twitter and having perez follow him.

Ha ha, I laughed when I read that Dash was grounded. He's 20. I don't know of any 20 year olds who get grounded. Or celebrites for that matter, not that I know any celebrities. I wish I did but sadly, I don't. If I did, I'd want to know Chace Crawford.

But I'm intrigued that when there are no parents around, he'll do whatever he likes because he's Dash Parker. I wonder what trouble he'll get himself into in the next chapter. That will certainly be interesting. Obviously, Dash's parents aren't up to code on young Hollywood. It's just another night in Hollywood where young celebrities get themselves into some form of trouble, resulting in the paparazzi to know all about it. Update soon! Btw, will you be writing another chapter of your story under the name of pinklips?
6/16/2009 c3 5Looking for Bliss
:D Like it!

The dialog is good and the relationship between Dash and his Dad is believable so good job on that.

With the grounding, I think it's a little outlandish, seeing as he is 20 but could work. You need a stronger reason for him to be grounded by his parents, then elaborate on the details. Make it something REALLY bad that would make the parents stepping in necessary.

With this paragraph: He doesn't even have enough time for us because of his work...doesn’t even make a difference whether I’m home or not. You use the word busy several times. It gets a little repetetive so change a few and use a different word.

Last thing: So my mom and little sister is gone, too. The is needs to be changed to and are.

=) Nicely written!

Izzy. x.
6/16/2009 c3 1Emma Ablaze
Nice. "Why do they keep telling me that I'm being consumed by my fame and fortune?" That made me laugh from the sheer irony. He honestly has no idea. This is a great way to truly introduce Dash to us. And now he's going on a road trip with his sister. Hm. Is he going to meet Jess? What the heck is he going to think about Jess when he's used to anorexic starlets? Keep the updates coming.
6/16/2009 c3 12Abelle Kingsley
If he's twenty, his parents can't ground him he's legally an adult. He can do whateverhe wants.
6/15/2009 c2 5Looking for Bliss
:D Very fuuny. I like Jessica a lot! Its nice not to have a 'perfect' main character. She seems very human. When you write, you could try using some Italics for emphasis, it would really bring it to life and make it more realistic when she is talking to the reader directly.

Looking for Bliss. x.
6/15/2009 c1 Looking for Bliss
Hi, i dont know if you rember but i used to review some of your other stories and, after rather a long break, im back on fictionpress!

I love the way that you can write. There is so much shown about the characters from very little writing. The combination of description, annecdotes and dialoge really bring your characters to life. In a few thousand words you have created a setting and believable characters of whom the reader is already beginning to feel for.

Dash seems to be rather chilled and not likely to get OTT about much. I think that you could have more about his reaction when Adrianna talks about coordinating their clothes.

I like the rivalry between the sisters and i think that it will be interesting how far that goes...

Looking for Bliss. x.
6/14/2009 c2 4E. Collins
This is really good. Jess seems like a bit of a whiner but oh well, i'm sure some people are. I guess i just don't get how she's suposed to be total cofident about herself and still complain about never having a boyfriend. I mean i'm perfectly fine with the fact that i've never had a boy friend. But anyway i think it's really good and that you should post the next chapter soon so that i can see what happens.


6/14/2009 c2 1Emma Ablaze
This is really great. It feels so real, too. We've all had our celebrity crushes. Jess is lonely, so her's goes a little farther than most, but she's still really relatable. The perfect older siblings is really good too, because it's sort of setting her uup to do something great and prove to the world that she won't be overshadowed any longer. Dash, we haven't really met much of yet, but his public life is definitely eclipsing his personal life. And Adrianna is just obnoxious. Only thing is that the story is written in the present tense and you occasionally slip in a past tense sentence. Other than that, your writing's really good.
6/13/2009 c2 5xxchristiexx
It's me again. Reviewing the second chapter. I really like this story and the way it's heading so far. I forgot to mention last time but Adrianna sounds like your typical in demand young woman who is only after one thing-to have the spotlight on her at all times and if she doesn't get her way than she throws a hissy fit and you should beware, a storm is on its way. Though, those type of characters certainly make for an interesting story. They bring more drama to the plot. And Adrianna certainly sounds like someone who will have drama ensue if she doesn't get her way.

As for this chapter, I liked it. Poor Jess. She's feeling the desperation of being the fifth wheel to her friends and their boyfriends so she dreams Dash Parker is her boyfriend because he's the hottest thing in Hollywood at the moment.

"I look at the screen again and sigh. It's my favorite part in a movie, the part where the hero looks at his heroine with such loving eyes and they kiss. Or when he does something extraordinary for her. It makes me believe that there are still some guys out there who would do such things. Maybe, just maybe, if I search long enough, I would find him.."

How you ended this chapter, I love it because of course she's going to find the guy who will do such things to her. I look forward to reading the next chapter.
6/13/2009 c1 xxchristiexx
Thanks for the heads up on this story. I like the sound of it so far. An interesting way to begin the story. Showing two very different worlds between Dash and his celebrity status and everything that comes with being famous in Hollywood.

And then of course there's Jess who is that of a typical young adult, who lives in a small town yet is in awe of the young celebrities living the life in Hollywood. In all, I enjoyed this chapter. Now I'm off to read the next one. Be sure to expect another review.
6/13/2009 c2 2Arabella Knightfair
Brilliant first chapter! We really get an idea of who the main character is and what type of person she is.

This chapter was perfectly in past tense, so not confusing at all.

I love this story so far and I can't want to read more!


6/13/2009 c1 Arabella Knightfair
Awesome prologue! Nice introduction to the main character!

I noticed that there were a few tenses mixed up, like I would read something that was in present tense and then suddenly the next sentence would switch to past tense, so I keeped getting a little bit confused.

Other than that it was cool!
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