for A Rose for the Demon1/24/2010 c1 Sonyashinto
I was loking forward to another chapter, but i do understnad that you want to become a better writer. I hope that you do repost this story later on. I thought that the plot was good, and the story was developing pretty good, but there is always room for improvement.
Looking forward to new story and update, Good lick!
Ja-Ne =^_^=
I was loking forward to another chapter, but i do understnad that you want to become a better writer. I hope that you do repost this story later on. I thought that the plot was good, and the story was developing pretty good, but there is always room for improvement.
Looking forward to new story and update, Good lick!
Ja-Ne =^_^=
8/24/2009 c3 chicagobabe
DAN DAN DAN or MOHAHAHAH goes so well for the ending of this chapter LOL. Bah im liking the story
DAN DAN DAN or MOHAHAHAH goes so well for the ending of this chapter LOL. Bah im liking the story
8/24/2009 c2 chicagobabe
Bah, he has no mercy, haha and thats why he’s a demon! Im liken the story so far :)
Bah, he has no mercy, haha and thats why he’s a demon! Im liken the story so far :)
8/24/2009 c1 chicagobabe
O love the first chapter! Oh and loved how you started it off with a dream loved that!
O love the first chapter! Oh and loved how you started it off with a dream loved that!
8/17/2009 c1 
1ershadtjy
Great story. Needs a bit of work on the grammar, some sentences confuse me a bit. Like:
Every being in the underworld knew the 3rd was omnipotent and could overpower the 2nd and 1st save Satan himself.
If he could overpower the 2nd and 1st, where doest that leave Satan? Is Satan above the 1st and 2nd, or is it just a typo or misunderstanding?
1ershadtjyGreat story. Needs a bit of work on the grammar, some sentences confuse me a bit. Like:
Every being in the underworld knew the 3rd was omnipotent and could overpower the 2nd and 1st save Satan himself.
If he could overpower the 2nd and 1st, where doest that leave Satan? Is Satan above the 1st and 2nd, or is it just a typo or misunderstanding?
7/15/2009 c1 3sour cherry
(I'm really reviewing chapter 6, but you put it on the same slot as chapter 5 and I'm unable to review twice ;) Hehe!)
-screams and runs around like maniac- AN UPDATE~! SQUEE! :D
And YES he is SEXY ENOUGH FOR ME! :D And I'm happy there is some romance in it! :D (Too many ":D" faces... It's my face of the week, I tell you.) Ugh, this tempts me to write some of chapter four for "Tripping Over Air", but it's so late... I only seem to update my story around 4 AM... is that weird or what?
Keep on writing, girlie! :)
-Moogi-
3sour cherry(I'm really reviewing chapter 6, but you put it on the same slot as chapter 5 and I'm unable to review twice ;) Hehe!)
-screams and runs around like maniac- AN UPDATE~! SQUEE! :D
And YES he is SEXY ENOUGH FOR ME! :D And I'm happy there is some romance in it! :D (Too many ":D" faces... It's my face of the week, I tell you.) Ugh, this tempts me to write some of chapter four for "Tripping Over Air", but it's so late... I only seem to update my story around 4 AM... is that weird or what?
Keep on writing, girlie! :)
-Moogi-
7/14/2009 c6 8Time Is Lost
Okay, here we go. You're definitely making less mistakes and I love this chapter, but I figure I'll continue to point out things, I'm pessimistic by nature.
1: due is do
3: if she's singing in her head, shouldn't she say I got the job? People don't normally think of themselves in 3rd person
11: with your phrasing, you should use to bring her out instead of bringing her out.
13: again, phrasing allows more for she had arrived than she arrived.
25: You should take out her name because you say later that she hadn't told him yet.
33: A comma between Yeah and uh is needed.
36: him not his
46: hip should be hips, unless he's had one removed. In which case, I don't recommend standing for more than, I don't know, maybe two seconds.
49: that should be what "she'd never guess WHAT he was really,"
Again, I really love it, romance is kind of my thing in most books, it seems to make them all better. Keep writing, you're getting somewhere. And you're getting better, you got a beta, right? I look forward to reading more.
8Time Is LostOkay, here we go. You're definitely making less mistakes and I love this chapter, but I figure I'll continue to point out things, I'm pessimistic by nature.
1: due is do
3: if she's singing in her head, shouldn't she say I got the job? People don't normally think of themselves in 3rd person
11: with your phrasing, you should use to bring her out instead of bringing her out.
13: again, phrasing allows more for she had arrived than she arrived.
25: You should take out her name because you say later that she hadn't told him yet.
33: A comma between Yeah and uh is needed.
36: him not his
46: hip should be hips, unless he's had one removed. In which case, I don't recommend standing for more than, I don't know, maybe two seconds.
49: that should be what "she'd never guess WHAT he was really,"
Again, I really love it, romance is kind of my thing in most books, it seems to make them all better. Keep writing, you're getting somewhere. And you're getting better, you got a beta, right? I look forward to reading more.
7/14/2009 c6 Lexy7432
Your welcome love and plz, plz update soon, cause I can't wait..this story is soo intriguing to me...
Your welcome love and plz, plz update soon, cause I can't wait..this story is soo intriguing to me...
7/13/2009 c5 5Ms. Poe
I guess I'm lucky I didn't start reading this until now. I mean, half a year? Wow. I would have hated having to wait that long ...
I love your story, and the characters in it; please update soon. :)
Livvy
5Ms. PoeI guess I'm lucky I didn't start reading this until now. I mean, half a year? Wow. I would have hated having to wait that long ...
I love your story, and the characters in it; please update soon. :)
Livvy
7/10/2009 c5 6Lanie Is
:) will you update soon?
I hope so.
And I DO want to know what Darren looks like...
6Lanie Is:) will you update soon?
I hope so.
And I DO want to know what Darren looks like...
7/8/2009 c3 5Ms. Poe
Hm ... I am very curious to see where you're going with this. But I must say, of all the stories about Lucifer I've had pounded into my head over the last thirteen years, never have I pictured a version that would actually /roll his eyes/, lol.
Anyway, keep up the good work. :) Moving on to chapter four now ...
5Ms. PoeHm ... I am very curious to see where you're going with this. But I must say, of all the stories about Lucifer I've had pounded into my head over the last thirteen years, never have I pictured a version that would actually /roll his eyes/, lol.
Anyway, keep up the good work. :) Moving on to chapter four now ...
7/6/2009 c2 Ms. Poe
There are a few grammatical errors and kind of awkward sentences, but I like the story and characters overall so far. I like how you did just that one line from Hayden's POV there at the end of this chapter (although I might point out that "August" should be capatalized when you're referring to the month). I'll be reading the other chapters when I can; I can't wait to see what happens.
Happy writing :)
Livvy
There are a few grammatical errors and kind of awkward sentences, but I like the story and characters overall so far. I like how you did just that one line from Hayden's POV there at the end of this chapter (although I might point out that "August" should be capatalized when you're referring to the month). I'll be reading the other chapters when I can; I can't wait to see what happens.
Happy writing :)
Livvy