for To Feel the Sun10/24/2010 c19 alakazam05
Great story, I really liked it. I'm glad you didn't go too deep into the law aspect of the story, not because it might be boring, but because it will be harder to make it realistic if the details wouldn't be consistet (unless of course you actually are a law practitioner). I also like the touch of Gaelic. It wasn't overbearing but just right. It makes me want to go to Ireland even more! :) My only criticism is that I felt the ending was a bit rushed. The part where Grace and Jonah got together was really quick whereas I feel that particular storyline could still be developed. It would be funny to read how they got around to getting married. Oh and I wanted to read more about the visit to Jonah's grandpa.
But it was really good. I'm glad I came across this story.
Great story, I really liked it. I'm glad you didn't go too deep into the law aspect of the story, not because it might be boring, but because it will be harder to make it realistic if the details wouldn't be consistet (unless of course you actually are a law practitioner). I also like the touch of Gaelic. It wasn't overbearing but just right. It makes me want to go to Ireland even more! :) My only criticism is that I felt the ending was a bit rushed. The part where Grace and Jonah got together was really quick whereas I feel that particular storyline could still be developed. It would be funny to read how they got around to getting married. Oh and I wanted to read more about the visit to Jonah's grandpa.
But it was really good. I'm glad I came across this story.
10/22/2010 c20 Sare
That was freaking amazing. I was hesitant to read it at first coz unrequited love depresses me, but it was so good. Not even joking.
The style of writing, the characters (especially Jonah, love that guy ;)) everything was awesome. I'm so going to read the other ones now :D
That was freaking amazing. I was hesitant to read it at first coz unrequited love depresses me, but it was so good. Not even joking.
The style of writing, the characters (especially Jonah, love that guy ;)) everything was awesome. I'm so going to read the other ones now :D
10/17/2010 c15 Zoius and the Devil
this is getting hugely unrealistic. if Sarah and Gracie are as close as Gracie insists they are, why would Sarah just turn her back on Gracie because of a stupid accident? I have sisters, and believe me, that sort of stuff just doesn't happen like that. still, i guess things are getting interesting.
-zozo
this is getting hugely unrealistic. if Sarah and Gracie are as close as Gracie insists they are, why would Sarah just turn her back on Gracie because of a stupid accident? I have sisters, and believe me, that sort of stuff just doesn't happen like that. still, i guess things are getting interesting.
-zozo
10/17/2010 c12 Zoius and the Devil
"Want to do those stupid coupley things that you laugh about when you're single but love doing when you're a couple?"
^^that's a good line.
that being said, gracie is unbelievably annoying. she's privileged, rich, talented, and utterly useless and lazy, and she's telling Simon to try not to be so ignorant? i don't get how the pieces add up here. she's horrible!
-zozo
"Want to do those stupid coupley things that you laugh about when you're single but love doing when you're a couple?"
^^that's a good line.
that being said, gracie is unbelievably annoying. she's privileged, rich, talented, and utterly useless and lazy, and she's telling Simon to try not to be so ignorant? i don't get how the pieces add up here. she's horrible!
-zozo
10/17/2010 c8 Zoius and the Devil
i'm pretty sure she's gonna go for Jonah. anyways, so far, this story has been okay. the writing is acceptable, though you do have a tendency to tell rather than show your characters' actions and motives. the characters are also sometimes quite ... i don't know, strange. unrealistic. in this past chapter (chapter eight), i don't understand how Gracie barely lends Carlin a passing thought, and yet, two paragraphs down, whines about how Simon will never compare to her Carlin. it's very contradictory, and Gracie just comes across as fickle. also, her initial dislike of Simon, as well as her own lengthy descriptions of her talents and whatnot, come together to make her quite unlikeable all in all. just saying.
that's all! i don't mean to be rude, i'm just trying to give you a decent critique.
-zozo
i'm pretty sure she's gonna go for Jonah. anyways, so far, this story has been okay. the writing is acceptable, though you do have a tendency to tell rather than show your characters' actions and motives. the characters are also sometimes quite ... i don't know, strange. unrealistic. in this past chapter (chapter eight), i don't understand how Gracie barely lends Carlin a passing thought, and yet, two paragraphs down, whines about how Simon will never compare to her Carlin. it's very contradictory, and Gracie just comes across as fickle. also, her initial dislike of Simon, as well as her own lengthy descriptions of her talents and whatnot, come together to make her quite unlikeable all in all. just saying.
that's all! i don't mean to be rude, i'm just trying to give you a decent critique.
-zozo
10/10/2010 c19 
12schradez007
I read this entire story this morning, and it made my Sunday. These characters are so real, and I had to restrain myself from squealing out loud over the ending. And I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see someone else out there writing soli Deo gloria :)
12schradez007I read this entire story this morning, and it made my Sunday. These characters are so real, and I had to restrain myself from squealing out loud over the ending. And I can't tell you how happy it makes me to see someone else out there writing soli Deo gloria :)
9/30/2010 c19 16mizgardenia21
Aww the ending was so sweet and wonderful. Jonah got his girl and Gracie got a good guy. You know it wasn't until chapter 8 or so that I realized Jonah and Grace were also in What He Meant by Press Send Was That I Love You...I'm a bit oblivious sometimes. This story was FANTASTIC. Simon was a jerk off and Carlin well he was a ...he was plain awful. Poor Danielle. Great work!
16mizgardenia21Aww the ending was so sweet and wonderful. Jonah got his girl and Gracie got a good guy. You know it wasn't until chapter 8 or so that I realized Jonah and Grace were also in What He Meant by Press Send Was That I Love You...I'm a bit oblivious sometimes. This story was FANTASTIC. Simon was a jerk off and Carlin well he was a ...he was plain awful. Poor Danielle. Great work!
9/15/2010 c7 TheGoddessPixie
Still not crazy about Sarah and her pushy, controlling attitude with Grace. So Sarah is the center of attention, the one in the spotlight, the talented one, the beautiful, charming, charismatic, and WONDERFUL perfect twin while Grace is the loser... but does Sarah HAVE to rub it in Grace's face constantly? I guess she does, after all, Grace is a writer, and writers NEED to suffer for their art, don't they?
I really dislike Sarah, and I think she's giving Simon WAY too much personal information about Grace.
Still not crazy about Sarah and her pushy, controlling attitude with Grace. So Sarah is the center of attention, the one in the spotlight, the talented one, the beautiful, charming, charismatic, and WONDERFUL perfect twin while Grace is the loser... but does Sarah HAVE to rub it in Grace's face constantly? I guess she does, after all, Grace is a writer, and writers NEED to suffer for their art, don't they?
I really dislike Sarah, and I think she's giving Simon WAY too much personal information about Grace.
9/15/2010 c4 TheGoddessPixie
Actually, I think Sarah is being a bitch to Grace. SARAH has decided she knows what is best for Grace, no matter how Grace feels, so SARAH is controlling Grace's life for her. Trust me, I have SIX controlling older sisters, which is why I stay out of my 3 younger sisters' lives. Yup, I'm #9 out of 13 kids, 10 girls, 3 boys.
Personally, I think the pairings should be Sarah/Simon and Grace/Jonah, but since this story was complete 6 months before I found this site, my opinion means less than nothing.
Actually, I think Sarah is being a bitch to Grace. SARAH has decided she knows what is best for Grace, no matter how Grace feels, so SARAH is controlling Grace's life for her. Trust me, I have SIX controlling older sisters, which is why I stay out of my 3 younger sisters' lives. Yup, I'm #9 out of 13 kids, 10 girls, 3 boys.
Personally, I think the pairings should be Sarah/Simon and Grace/Jonah, but since this story was complete 6 months before I found this site, my opinion means less than nothing.
9/6/2010 c5 Emily Brooke
Okay, I was going to review when I finished the whole thing, but I have something to say. Forget about Simon, I love me some Jonah. :D Seriously. He's kind of amazing.
Your writing is very good, by the way. It makes for a great read.
And I totally understand poor Gracie. I'm in the exact same situation, minus the cello player and sexy lawyer.
Thanks for giving me something fun to read!
Okay, I was going to review when I finished the whole thing, but I have something to say. Forget about Simon, I love me some Jonah. :D Seriously. He's kind of amazing.
Your writing is very good, by the way. It makes for a great read.
And I totally understand poor Gracie. I'm in the exact same situation, minus the cello player and sexy lawyer.
Thanks for giving me something fun to read!
8/31/2010 c19 a boy named marcus
OH MY GOD THEY GOT MARRIED! THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVER! i loved this story, as it was SO cute. especially jonah. i'm hoping to find my own jonah someday...
keep up the good work, and i hope you write more stories like this one! :D
OH MY GOD THEY GOT MARRIED! THAT IS THE CUTEST THING EVER! i loved this story, as it was SO cute. especially jonah. i'm hoping to find my own jonah someday...
keep up the good work, and i hope you write more stories like this one! :D
8/20/2010 c19 AndItMovesUsAll
Absolutely loved it! Very clever at the end there, going back to the trip to show what had happend later on. I love Jonah as a character, hes so sweet and kind and respectful and all of the scenes with him in were gripping. Towards the end it was so angsty, and quite heartbreaking, you wrote it very well, and i like how you gradually built up her awareness of the relationships she was in, and you really showed the development of her character well, that was one of the best things about this story.
:D
Absolutely loved it! Very clever at the end there, going back to the trip to show what had happend later on. I love Jonah as a character, hes so sweet and kind and respectful and all of the scenes with him in were gripping. Towards the end it was so angsty, and quite heartbreaking, you wrote it very well, and i like how you gradually built up her awareness of the relationships she was in, and you really showed the development of her character well, that was one of the best things about this story.
:D
8/17/2010 c2 2Skyterra
Hi! I really like your writing.
I loved how you had Facebook in this chapter. I've noticed a lot of realistic fiction doesn't include online chatting or texting or Internet at all, and that just bugs me. Real people use those things! I'm so very happy that you mentioned it. :)
Well, I'm excited for the story! Sarah seems like a nice person - and I was pleasantly surprised at the father's reaction to her when she burst into the room. I guess I expected a lawyer-father-stern-person, but I'm glad he wasn't angry or anything! How fresh!
2SkyterraHi! I really like your writing.
I loved how you had Facebook in this chapter. I've noticed a lot of realistic fiction doesn't include online chatting or texting or Internet at all, and that just bugs me. Real people use those things! I'm so very happy that you mentioned it. :)
Well, I'm excited for the story! Sarah seems like a nice person - and I was pleasantly surprised at the father's reaction to her when she burst into the room. I guess I expected a lawyer-father-stern-person, but I'm glad he wasn't angry or anything! How fresh!