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4/18/2009 c1 56felicia13
I like the way the first 2 stanzas start this out. The 3rd stanza seems to be moving it in another direction, and I don't really like the end.

Sloth is interesting. Have you ever heard of "Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins?" It's very good, actually.

"Stick-smooth / sliver of / sloth" is a beautiful start to this. "slow, / nauseous tune / of the unsung." I really like that imagery. It's just perfect.

"Care can only / carry so far" Really great. I do love this.

Love Always,

Felicia.
12/15/2008 c1 Itstartedwithapaopu
Oh, dear. Is this about your French exam?

Silly love, I'm sure you didn't fail it!

You should to a theme! Now all you have to do is Envy, Pride, Lust, Gluttony, Wrath, and Greed! :D

I'm very sorry that you feel like you didn't do well, but I very much like the poem. ^^ You're such an amazing poet. :D

See, I love you! ^^
12/13/2008 c1 36Kate Marshall
This is...very cool. Probably the most interesting poem/story I've ever read. I love the end, how you used the words "content" and "resting" instead the usual descriptions of slothfulness.

Um, yeah. Oh, and I loved the rhythm of it. Especially the lines

"mask my mind

conceal my heart"

and

"(Care can only

carry so far

and falling

can be the

end.)"

Really very pretty. I'd like to read more, so this'll be on my favs/alerts. ;D Good luck! ^_^

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