
4/18/2009 c1
56felicia13
I like the way the first 2 stanzas start this out. The 3rd stanza seems to be moving it in another direction, and I don't really like the end.
Sloth is interesting. Have you ever heard of "Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins?" It's very good, actually.
"Stick-smooth / sliver of / sloth" is a beautiful start to this. "slow, / nauseous tune / of the unsung." I really like that imagery. It's just perfect.
"Care can only / carry so far" Really great. I do love this.
Love Always,
Felicia.

I like the way the first 2 stanzas start this out. The 3rd stanza seems to be moving it in another direction, and I don't really like the end.
Sloth is interesting. Have you ever heard of "Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins?" It's very good, actually.
"Stick-smooth / sliver of / sloth" is a beautiful start to this. "slow, / nauseous tune / of the unsung." I really like that imagery. It's just perfect.
"Care can only / carry so far" Really great. I do love this.
Love Always,
Felicia.
12/15/2008 c1 Itstartedwithapaopu
Oh, dear. Is this about your French exam?
Silly love, I'm sure you didn't fail it!
You should to a theme! Now all you have to do is Envy, Pride, Lust, Gluttony, Wrath, and Greed! :D
I'm very sorry that you feel like you didn't do well, but I very much like the poem. ^^ You're such an amazing poet. :D
See, I love you! ^^
Oh, dear. Is this about your French exam?
Silly love, I'm sure you didn't fail it!
You should to a theme! Now all you have to do is Envy, Pride, Lust, Gluttony, Wrath, and Greed! :D
I'm very sorry that you feel like you didn't do well, but I very much like the poem. ^^ You're such an amazing poet. :D
See, I love you! ^^
12/13/2008 c1
36Kate Marshall
This is...very cool. Probably the most interesting poem/story I've ever read. I love the end, how you used the words "content" and "resting" instead the usual descriptions of slothfulness.
Um, yeah. Oh, and I loved the rhythm of it. Especially the lines
"mask my mind
conceal my heart"
and
"(Care can only
carry so far
and falling
can be the
end.)"
Really very pretty. I'd like to read more, so this'll be on my favs/alerts. ;D Good luck! ^_^

This is...very cool. Probably the most interesting poem/story I've ever read. I love the end, how you used the words "content" and "resting" instead the usual descriptions of slothfulness.
Um, yeah. Oh, and I loved the rhythm of it. Especially the lines
"mask my mind
conceal my heart"
and
"(Care can only
carry so far
and falling
can be the
end.)"
Really very pretty. I'd like to read more, so this'll be on my favs/alerts. ;D Good luck! ^_^