for Bad Dreams4/17/2009 c1 
54Indefinite
wow. this is amazing. i don't think i even understand most of it. i think i'm going to have to read this again. and again and again before i can come close to understanding a fraction of what you mean. i hope you dont take that as an insult as it is probably the highest compliment i can give someone:)
54Indefinitewow. this is amazing. i don't think i even understand most of it. i think i'm going to have to read this again. and again and again before i can come close to understanding a fraction of what you mean. i hope you dont take that as an insult as it is probably the highest compliment i can give someone:)
4/3/2009 c1 4The-Golden-Hour
juxtaposition...hmm im goin to have to go to look in the dictionary bit...xD lol
4The-Golden-Hourjuxtaposition...hmm im goin to have to go to look in the dictionary bit...xD lol
4/1/2009 c1 ACCOUNT P.E.R.I.S.H.E.D
thank you for the review. you're my first!
I really like this poem...
"Crushed against your vertebrae
Your bones are so bright I want to play them
All their fragile pieces ring"
there is something about bones that is so hauntingly beautiful.
This works, because it's so wanting, and yet so lacking. if you see what I mean?
sort of full of pieces, fitting together, but empty of something at the same time...
you have a simple and lovely writing style.
oh, I like the stanzas too.
thank you for the review. you're my first!
I really like this poem...
"Crushed against your vertebrae
Your bones are so bright I want to play them
All their fragile pieces ring"
there is something about bones that is so hauntingly beautiful.
This works, because it's so wanting, and yet so lacking. if you see what I mean?
sort of full of pieces, fitting together, but empty of something at the same time...
you have a simple and lovely writing style.
oh, I like the stanzas too.
1/24/2009 c1 25the face in the window
first, let me apologize. i've been away from fictionpress for too long. life...is life. and life is crazy.
i've missed reading your poetry. honestly. you are a beautiful writer and one can really FEEL what you write.
i love how part vi is not available. don'r we all feel that way sometimes?
25the face in the windowfirst, let me apologize. i've been away from fictionpress for too long. life...is life. and life is crazy.
i've missed reading your poetry. honestly. you are a beautiful writer and one can really FEEL what you write.
i love how part vi is not available. don'r we all feel that way sometimes?
12/23/2008 c1 19Frames of Insight
I like how you broke it into parts, also. Clever. Your chosen images really incite interesting emotions out of the reader. I actually felt as if I wanted to fix everything for you, as you needed, by showing him what he wasn't seeing. It is quite interesting to see how things work out when someone does not see something for themself, so if this is true, good luck.
19Frames of InsightI like how you broke it into parts, also. Clever. Your chosen images really incite interesting emotions out of the reader. I actually felt as if I wanted to fix everything for you, as you needed, by showing him what he wasn't seeing. It is quite interesting to see how things work out when someone does not see something for themself, so if this is true, good luck.
12/18/2008 c1 Miria
I love it. As I love all your poems. You personify items so well, they are completely, absolutely human. The imagery is very real.
Your fan,
Miria :)
I love it. As I love all your poems. You personify items so well, they are completely, absolutely human. The imagery is very real.
Your fan,
Miria :)
12/16/2008 c1 Carus
I really liked the way you split this up into parts, yet kept the stanzas at unequal lengths. It helped to portray the yearning for some structure in the narrator's life, but also the true confusion and chaos that is what real life entails. I also really liked Part IV, especially the way you started with a one-word stanza. It was like a subtitle, showing that the poem has moved on in its narration. I also liked the rhyming of 'searching' and 'lurching' in this part, because it kind of reminded the reader that although the poem is written in freehand, it IS still a poem and it still has poetic techniques.
One thing that did annoy me slightly was the lack of any punctuation, but then that's just personal preference.
I really liked the way you split this up into parts, yet kept the stanzas at unequal lengths. It helped to portray the yearning for some structure in the narrator's life, but also the true confusion and chaos that is what real life entails. I also really liked Part IV, especially the way you started with a one-word stanza. It was like a subtitle, showing that the poem has moved on in its narration. I also liked the rhyming of 'searching' and 'lurching' in this part, because it kind of reminded the reader that although the poem is written in freehand, it IS still a poem and it still has poetic techniques.
One thing that did annoy me slightly was the lack of any punctuation, but then that's just personal preference.
12/15/2008 c1 arcane devices
Oh cripes, I really need to get used to the new FP navigation system. I don't know if this was something more experimental on your part but this definitely has a cynical quality that can be serene in it's own light. My favorite part of the poem is probably Part I because I feel that it encompasses much of the poem's values along with it's striking imagery. I didn't enjoy how you started out with the whole 'hand pressed against your chest' as I feel that it's overused in poetry to suggest a hint of angst. Keep writing though, and I hope to read more from you soon.
Oh cripes, I really need to get used to the new FP navigation system. I don't know if this was something more experimental on your part but this definitely has a cynical quality that can be serene in it's own light. My favorite part of the poem is probably Part I because I feel that it encompasses much of the poem's values along with it's striking imagery. I didn't enjoy how you started out with the whole 'hand pressed against your chest' as I feel that it's overused in poetry to suggest a hint of angst. Keep writing though, and I hope to read more from you soon.