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12/19/2008 c1 7Phillippa Carey
i like how you make the reader think. While detail can make a story, it can sometimes give too much, making the reader lazy. This is written so well, and i really like the characters you created. she is so abrupt, but i can tell she likes the attention, whilst hating it at the same time. The only thing is, what started it?

Im assuming a dare/bet of some sort, but that's the only thing that left me wondering. I want to know more! congrats on a great story :)
12/18/2008 c1 7x.betweenthelines
12/18/2008 c1 13blurrylights
That was really cute! J'adore...:)
12/18/2008 c1 8somuchformyhappyending
aww...that was really cute! I loved it! :)

12/18/2008 c1 17chlodochar.wolf
Please make this into a story of some sort! I'm curious!
12/18/2008 c1 WhiteHemlock
I'm not too sure about this piece. The main context is dialogue (basically a script), and I feel as if so much is missing. Also, I don't know much about the setting, plot, or characters. Perhaps in the next chapter, add more substance? How did they say it? Why? What were they thinking after what they said? Add some depth, I want to know what's going on. Keep writing!

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