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for Rionix

1/11/2009 c1 1F. B. Hteiron
This is a pretty good story, but you had several grammar mistakes/typos. The sentences were choppy, so you might want to work on making them flow better. There were a few run-on sentences, but those weren't as bad. Good job overall!
1/1/2009 c1 Spazz-O-Spades
Huh. Hera ang Hades? I don't think that would happen... MAybe you could change it and make it Persephone and Hades instead? That would make it more realistic, and then Athena can be the one who came to talk to Hades? I really can't see short-fused Hera coming down to talk to Hades on behalf of her bastard daughter.

Another thing is, you might want to work on the flow of this story.

Other then that it was interesting


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