for Moonlight12/23/2008 c1 
44Stormer
I think this line had a typo:
He lay and move no more.
should be "moved"?
I didn't really see anything else that I would say needs improving. Now onto the gushing!
This piece was truly beautiful - I am in awe of your talent for balladry! I really liked this line: "She placed her freedom over her head."
This is a classic tragedy, not quite like a Romeo & Juliet story but possibly - could have all been a misunderstanding I guess.
Great work!
44StormerI think this line had a typo:
He lay and move no more.
should be "moved"?
I didn't really see anything else that I would say needs improving. Now onto the gushing!
This piece was truly beautiful - I am in awe of your talent for balladry! I really liked this line: "She placed her freedom over her head."
This is a classic tragedy, not quite like a Romeo & Juliet story but possibly - could have all been a misunderstanding I guess.
Great work!
12/22/2008 c1 FuckMeAlice
Have I mentioned that I really, really like this poem before? I love the similarities to The Lady Of Shallott, the rhythm and the story-telling devices. Good job!
-Stardust.
Have I mentioned that I really, really like this poem before? I love the similarities to The Lady Of Shallott, the rhythm and the story-telling devices. Good job!
-Stardust.