
11/11/2009 c1
2ayearningwriter
omg! i lalalalove your story! i wanna read the rest so bad! so pleaase, keep on writing!
heey. would you like to join my community? your story is perfect for my category! & i'd love to have you in there! hit me up for more details:))

omg! i lalalalove your story! i wanna read the rest so bad! so pleaase, keep on writing!
heey. would you like to join my community? your story is perfect for my category! & i'd love to have you in there! hit me up for more details:))
1/3/2009 c2 takatakabwana
i think yor story is really nice. looks promising. i can't wait to read more of it :) i know someone who was sorta in the same situation as rina...didn't notice till after he was gone though. great job :) Keep going! Dosbesos.xx.Parami
i think yor story is really nice. looks promising. i can't wait to read more of it :) i know someone who was sorta in the same situation as rina...didn't notice till after he was gone though. great job :) Keep going! Dosbesos.xx.Parami
1/3/2009 c2 Dutchess
I enjoyed the 1st chapter more, but this chapter was still an adventure. It wasn't the chapter I expected, but I'm very sure that I would see it in the third chapter. Make it longer. That's it, but I really loved it. More power to all those other readers. Even more to writers. You're welcome and Good day...
I enjoyed the 1st chapter more, but this chapter was still an adventure. It wasn't the chapter I expected, but I'm very sure that I would see it in the third chapter. Make it longer. That's it, but I really loved it. More power to all those other readers. Even more to writers. You're welcome and Good day...
12/22/2008 c1 Dutchess
Dear Author,
The start had a ring to it. The end was persuading readers to read more. I very much enjoyed it. My only suggestion is for more complicated words, this will enhance the message of your story. Other than that, it was quite an adventure for the first chapter only. I agree with the first comment that you must make it longer, but it was already amazing by itself. Enhance your mind. Read on.
Dear Author,
The start had a ring to it. The end was persuading readers to read more. I very much enjoyed it. My only suggestion is for more complicated words, this will enhance the message of your story. Other than that, it was quite an adventure for the first chapter only. I agree with the first comment that you must make it longer, but it was already amazing by itself. Enhance your mind. Read on.
12/22/2008 c1
23Arastel
Interesting start, the end does make you want to read more. Do try to make your chapters slightly longer, especially first chaps. As for that author's note...reading and studying other peopleswriting on here doesn't say what everyone likes, since you've obviously seen the over abundance of 'vampire' stories. develop you own writing style. Hope you have good luck with your writing, I'd love to see where this is going.

Interesting start, the end does make you want to read more. Do try to make your chapters slightly longer, especially first chaps. As for that author's note...reading and studying other peopleswriting on here doesn't say what everyone likes, since you've obviously seen the over abundance of 'vampire' stories. develop you own writing style. Hope you have good luck with your writing, I'd love to see where this is going.