for Ascension8/20/2009 c4 dreamshell
I see what you mean about making Elektra the protagonist, she seems the more interesting character, or certainly at least the more adventuresome. However, you may want to adjust your initial attention of Tarasios then, if only that you put it into context through his daughter's eyes. He also drops off quicly, which could stand some extra care. Also, the issue of the Council being a bit too two-dimensionally "antagonisty," which I mentioned to you before.
Otherwise, this looks to be an exciting story. Rufus Saevenok is certainly an enjoyable character. And I've seen the Errynts before in GoD, right? I don't remember for sure...
I see what you mean about making Elektra the protagonist, she seems the more interesting character, or certainly at least the more adventuresome. However, you may want to adjust your initial attention of Tarasios then, if only that you put it into context through his daughter's eyes. He also drops off quicly, which could stand some extra care. Also, the issue of the Council being a bit too two-dimensionally "antagonisty," which I mentioned to you before.
Otherwise, this looks to be an exciting story. Rufus Saevenok is certainly an enjoyable character. And I've seen the Errynts before in GoD, right? I don't remember for sure...
6/2/2009 c4 JaveHarron
Glad to see a new Ascension chap up. Grammar and editing was pretty good, and Rufus is becoming a favorite Archoverse character of mine.
Glad to see a new Ascension chap up. Grammar and editing was pretty good, and Rufus is becoming a favorite Archoverse character of mine.
4/11/2009 c3 JaveHarron
We see some magocrats plotting and planning. Looking forward to more of the story soon!
We see some magocrats plotting and planning. Looking forward to more of the story soon!
1/1/2009 c1 
619Jave Harron
Awesome start for the story. I didn't notice any major errors, and the mood for the rest of the story's been set. It's good to see some lesser known areas in the Archoverse getting developed.
619Jave HarronAwesome start for the story. I didn't notice any major errors, and the mood for the rest of the story's been set. It's good to see some lesser known areas in the Archoverse getting developed.