6/24/2009 c1 7Duckies
Ooh, very creepy and immensely disturbing. Beautiful flow and well written. I think the last stanza was a bit awkward - especially the first line because it felt kind of sudden; your intention for that stanza does become clearer after reading the next three lines, but it still felt a bit jarring.

I really did like this, it's very thought provoking (I'm thinking about insane people now!) I'm not sure whether to say your imagery was good or bad, because while it was good in the sense that I could imagine everything, it wasn't so good in the sense that I didn't want to be able to imagine everything! o.O

Strange title to give it too - I didn't really notice anything about pedophelia, just er..cannibalism and strange people..

Anyway, an original and daring piece - good work.

(I'm from the 'World Domination' forum - come join, the link is on my profile. Play games, talk about stories or just chat!)

4/13/2009 c1 16Cheeseraptor5
An overall beautiful menagerie of disturbing thought processes, delicious imagery and a vague hint of true love. The first stanza was especially wondrous; the last one was a bit straightforward in comparison, but still very adorable in a slaughterhouse kind of way.

12/27/2008 c1 empty tea bottles
Haha, you know, the first thing that came to my mind when I saw the title was, "Lolita. Lo-leet-ta...light of my life, fire of my loins...yadayada."

I really like the first three stanzas; they're simple, yet at the same time vivid. I somehow think it copped out at the end, as if you could have finished more strongly, but overall, good work.

12/27/2008 c1 6Basket Monkey
Woah...

12/27/2008 c1 38Ino Aole
slightly disturbing, i like it