for The Sun12/29/2008 c1 darksuccubi14
I second that motion. Some of the BEST grammar yet.VERY well done!
I second that motion. Some of the BEST grammar yet.VERY well done!
12/28/2008 c1 RainingTopaz
This sounds really good...if only I could understand it. Who exactly are you talking about? I see that her brother died but was he the one that...? It's just confusing. Unless you're planning on continueing and explaining this in chapters afterward, then I suggest that you go in and make more sense and explain who this 'he' is.
Your grammor and punctuation are most definatly NOT disappointing though. The BEST I have seen yet on this site. Thank you so much for editing well. It truly is a relief to read work that is clean cut and understandable.
This sounds really good...if only I could understand it. Who exactly are you talking about? I see that her brother died but was he the one that...? It's just confusing. Unless you're planning on continueing and explaining this in chapters afterward, then I suggest that you go in and make more sense and explain who this 'he' is.
Your grammor and punctuation are most definatly NOT disappointing though. The BEST I have seen yet on this site. Thank you so much for editing well. It truly is a relief to read work that is clean cut and understandable.