for Manhattan Love Story12/11/2003 c31 mary
hi, im new to fp.and i have been talking to Lonerguy04 and he told me to read this.That is truly the best book i have ever read.I liked the ending.i wish you would make a sequal or something or another story like this.your attention to detail and emontions is amazing.This story glides down the page because of the fact that it is so good.This story is raw and real.these two teenage boys find something in each other that not everyone gets to have in their life.This story goes beyond lovers and friends. Ben and anthony are soul mates.This book made me laugh and cry.it also made me stay up past curfew because i had to find out what was gonna happen next.Thank you for writing this story and thank you for depicting a homosexual relationship as a good thing.This book took me 3 days to read and i am glad it did because i got really know these characters.I would like to know what you think of some of my stuff.
mary
Ps just so you know this is my favorite fp story so far.keep writing you are truly blessed and amazing
hi, im new to fp.and i have been talking to Lonerguy04 and he told me to read this.That is truly the best book i have ever read.I liked the ending.i wish you would make a sequal or something or another story like this.your attention to detail and emontions is amazing.This story glides down the page because of the fact that it is so good.This story is raw and real.these two teenage boys find something in each other that not everyone gets to have in their life.This story goes beyond lovers and friends. Ben and anthony are soul mates.This book made me laugh and cry.it also made me stay up past curfew because i had to find out what was gonna happen next.Thank you for writing this story and thank you for depicting a homosexual relationship as a good thing.This book took me 3 days to read and i am glad it did because i got really know these characters.I would like to know what you think of some of my stuff.
mary
Ps just so you know this is my favorite fp story so far.keep writing you are truly blessed and amazing
12/2/2003 c31 
3Nevyn
The boys are very evil. Jake's group, I mean and I still would like to know if there is a motive as to why Jake acts so mean.
Richard really is made out to be the bad guy. Which is sad. I suppose you were right. They were bad parents. They tried though. They really did. But it's hard to make up so many years of absentmindedness toward their son.
I can't really say I like the ending. It isn't happy and nothing is really resolved. I like the very first chapter you ever wrote where Anthony was living in Bolivia again and was writing a letter to Ben telling him that his family still didn't know about them and how he planed on telling him when they saw each other again. I liked that. It was happy and peaceful. It left possibilities open for a nice ending together. And although it is true that the world is a harsh place, and therefore this ending could very well happen, it's still too bad that it couldn't be a bit happier.
You did a wonderful job writing this and will you ever get published? It’d be great if you did. I’m sure I’m not the only one that would love to get it in book form.
Thank you very much for finishing the story and posting it for everyone to read. It was truly wonderful.
3NevynThe boys are very evil. Jake's group, I mean and I still would like to know if there is a motive as to why Jake acts so mean.
Richard really is made out to be the bad guy. Which is sad. I suppose you were right. They were bad parents. They tried though. They really did. But it's hard to make up so many years of absentmindedness toward their son.
I can't really say I like the ending. It isn't happy and nothing is really resolved. I like the very first chapter you ever wrote where Anthony was living in Bolivia again and was writing a letter to Ben telling him that his family still didn't know about them and how he planed on telling him when they saw each other again. I liked that. It was happy and peaceful. It left possibilities open for a nice ending together. And although it is true that the world is a harsh place, and therefore this ending could very well happen, it's still too bad that it couldn't be a bit happier.
You did a wonderful job writing this and will you ever get published? It’d be great if you did. I’m sure I’m not the only one that would love to get it in book form.
Thank you very much for finishing the story and posting it for everyone to read. It was truly wonderful.
12/2/2003 c26 Nevyn
Depression really is a big thing. But I can't help but feel as if maybe Anthony is going about it all the wrong way. He knows better than to not take his medicine and just telling the shrink would really help a lot. And his parent’s relationship is partly strained partly because of him. *sighs* Anthony is really getting on my nerves. I seriously hope that this has a good ending. Sorry for not reviewing more often. And your story is really wonderful. *smiles*
Depression really is a big thing. But I can't help but feel as if maybe Anthony is going about it all the wrong way. He knows better than to not take his medicine and just telling the shrink would really help a lot. And his parent’s relationship is partly strained partly because of him. *sighs* Anthony is really getting on my nerves. I seriously hope that this has a good ending. Sorry for not reviewing more often. And your story is really wonderful. *smiles*
11/28/2003 c31 16Germaine Amundsen
Whaa-aah-aa-oh? Not over yet! Not over! hmm... this is an original... so... there could be fanfics and fanart and fanmanga, right! Right? *crazed look comes into her eyes* They're still around! I will find them, I will I will!
...
Er-HEM!
This is possibly one of the greatest unpublished works I've ever read. It's simply lovely. Your writing tends to be poetic, what with all the gorgeous comparisons and such. The characters are developed so well that I could almost imagine an entire interview with them! Woohoo! Anyway, I would go on, but I'm sure you could look up synonyms for 'fantastic' in any old thesaurus, no?
*grins*
Thank you very much!
16Germaine AmundsenWhaa-aah-aa-oh? Not over yet! Not over! hmm... this is an original... so... there could be fanfics and fanart and fanmanga, right! Right? *crazed look comes into her eyes* They're still around! I will find them, I will I will!
...
Er-HEM!
This is possibly one of the greatest unpublished works I've ever read. It's simply lovely. Your writing tends to be poetic, what with all the gorgeous comparisons and such. The characters are developed so well that I could almost imagine an entire interview with them! Woohoo! Anyway, I would go on, but I'm sure you could look up synonyms for 'fantastic' in any old thesaurus, no?
*grins*
Thank you very much!
11/26/2003 c30 5a bunny
...wow. That was one of the single most consistently beautiful things I've ever read on the Internet. The characterization was excellent; everybody acted like teenaged dorks, except for Jake, who acted like a teenaged, overstereoptyped Hitler (for the most part). All of the sex was very tastefully handled, and the emotions behind it were extremely realistic. It also wasn't flowery and "Oh, my love!" either, which made a nice change. I had a bit of an issue with the lack of lube and prep on the beach scene, though. I can ignore it in most things, but in a story that strives to be so very realistic and plausible in every other way, it seemed unacceptably jarring. The ending was cool, too, even though I had to blink at it or a while. I'm unused to being allowed to figure things out for myself. It made a nice change. One of my favorite parts, though, were the chapter titles, for some strange and not totally understandable reason. They were creative and actually applied to the chapters; my favorites were Benjamin's Cathedral, Private Independence Day, and A Useless Basketball Scholarship, in no particular order. But overall, just wow. That was one of the better fics I've read in a long time. Something that just occurred to me: whatever happened with Anthony's depression thing? Because one minute it was in yo' face and the next it wasn't there at all. If it was so severe that he had to be medicated, I doubt that it would poof away so quickly and/or neatly, but then, I'm no expert. I think that's everything now. Really.
5a bunny...wow. That was one of the single most consistently beautiful things I've ever read on the Internet. The characterization was excellent; everybody acted like teenaged dorks, except for Jake, who acted like a teenaged, overstereoptyped Hitler (for the most part). All of the sex was very tastefully handled, and the emotions behind it were extremely realistic. It also wasn't flowery and "Oh, my love!" either, which made a nice change. I had a bit of an issue with the lack of lube and prep on the beach scene, though. I can ignore it in most things, but in a story that strives to be so very realistic and plausible in every other way, it seemed unacceptably jarring. The ending was cool, too, even though I had to blink at it or a while. I'm unused to being allowed to figure things out for myself. It made a nice change. One of my favorite parts, though, were the chapter titles, for some strange and not totally understandable reason. They were creative and actually applied to the chapters; my favorites were Benjamin's Cathedral, Private Independence Day, and A Useless Basketball Scholarship, in no particular order. But overall, just wow. That was one of the better fics I've read in a long time. Something that just occurred to me: whatever happened with Anthony's depression thing? Because one minute it was in yo' face and the next it wasn't there at all. If it was so severe that he had to be medicated, I doubt that it would poof away so quickly and/or neatly, but then, I'm no expert. I think that's everything now. Really.
11/21/2003 c23 3Nevyn
Haven’t reviewed for a few chapters. Was digesting story. Anthony is still getting on my nerves and I feel sorry for Ben and his parents. It’s like he doesn’t want to get better and wants to make everyone worry about him. Like he is enjoying the attention. Especially with that coloring job. And his shrink knows that he isn’t taking the medicine. It’s disappearing to fast. Why can't Anthony just let everyone else try and get him well again? He’s rebelling and it isn't healthy.
You know, Anthony might do well in a sport. Like track. And if he joined it might help solve some of the problems with Jake. Or not. But it might make Anthony feel better about himself.
3NevynHaven’t reviewed for a few chapters. Was digesting story. Anthony is still getting on my nerves and I feel sorry for Ben and his parents. It’s like he doesn’t want to get better and wants to make everyone worry about him. Like he is enjoying the attention. Especially with that coloring job. And his shrink knows that he isn’t taking the medicine. It’s disappearing to fast. Why can't Anthony just let everyone else try and get him well again? He’s rebelling and it isn't healthy.
You know, Anthony might do well in a sport. Like track. And if he joined it might help solve some of the problems with Jake. Or not. But it might make Anthony feel better about himself.
11/21/2003 c20 Nevyn
Anthony has lost nearly over 25 lbs? If that even possible in such a short time? It’s amazing. And because he is so tall, he must look like a stick. I have a fiend that is 6'2 and is way under weight for his height. Because of this, he can make his chest sound like a hollow drum when he taps it. It’s a different sound than the sound a normal weight person would get. His friend is also the same way. I wonder if Anthony has reached that point yet.
Jake is a terd. But I’m wondering if there is more behind him that what we see. What if he was raised in a family that is major homophobic so he started to believe in this too? But then at the same time, he also started feeling attracted to a boy he knew? Because of the way that he was raised, he felt that he had to start treating people that might be gay or seem to be like trash. And so in denying his own feelings, he harbored even more hostility that before. I think he should see a shrink. Above statement is probably not true, but it works too. Jake can't be a wholly bad character. But you can't help hate him anyway.
It’s a little strange how Anthony would seem so broken up over the death of a boy he never knew that well. Sure, he is going through major depression, but this affects him greatly. It just seems off.
And Ben is a very wonderful person. I can’t imagine anyone putting up with getting walked over for so long. He has a strong resilience to pressure. And it shows that he really cares about Anthony a lot. Many normal people would’ve left him long ago.
In whole, I really like the story, don't doubt that. Sorry for making observations. I really can't help it.
Anthony has lost nearly over 25 lbs? If that even possible in such a short time? It’s amazing. And because he is so tall, he must look like a stick. I have a fiend that is 6'2 and is way under weight for his height. Because of this, he can make his chest sound like a hollow drum when he taps it. It’s a different sound than the sound a normal weight person would get. His friend is also the same way. I wonder if Anthony has reached that point yet.
Jake is a terd. But I’m wondering if there is more behind him that what we see. What if he was raised in a family that is major homophobic so he started to believe in this too? But then at the same time, he also started feeling attracted to a boy he knew? Because of the way that he was raised, he felt that he had to start treating people that might be gay or seem to be like trash. And so in denying his own feelings, he harbored even more hostility that before. I think he should see a shrink. Above statement is probably not true, but it works too. Jake can't be a wholly bad character. But you can't help hate him anyway.
It’s a little strange how Anthony would seem so broken up over the death of a boy he never knew that well. Sure, he is going through major depression, but this affects him greatly. It just seems off.
And Ben is a very wonderful person. I can’t imagine anyone putting up with getting walked over for so long. He has a strong resilience to pressure. And it shows that he really cares about Anthony a lot. Many normal people would’ve left him long ago.
In whole, I really like the story, don't doubt that. Sorry for making observations. I really can't help it.
11/20/2003 c19 Nevyn
I’d have to disagree with you on the quality of parents Brenda and Richard are.
Sure, it is easy to say that Anthony raised himself, but he didn't. When he was old enough to, he looked after himself. There is a big difference. His parents are still there. Until he has no one else to look after him, he is still getting raised by someone.
Think of it this way:
First, Anthony had to be conceived, and then he was grown, given birth to, fed and changed. That along is a big one. When he was little he was unable of changing or feeding himself. Also, during this time, he was taken care of. He was loved, he was clothed, nurtured and he always had a roof over his head. When he was sick, he was taken to the doctor and when he fell down, there was someone to kiss it better. His parents are even now still raising him. Even if he is slightly taking care of himself when his parents are too busy to really notice him because he is to quiet.
And also, just because his parents can't recognize that he is depressed doesn't make them any worse than two other adults you might consider to be good parents. What makes the others better anyway? If they had a kid that wouldn't tell them what was wrong, they would be just as confused as Brenda and Richard. Do you see what I mean? They aren't bad parents. They aren't the best, but they are far from being terrible patents. Because despite them not understanding what is wrong with their son, they still loved and raised him when he was young and they are continuing to do so even now. Looking back, if you had parents that were there but let you take care of yourself, you’d realize they still changed your nappies. They were just absent.
I’d have to disagree with you on the quality of parents Brenda and Richard are.
Sure, it is easy to say that Anthony raised himself, but he didn't. When he was old enough to, he looked after himself. There is a big difference. His parents are still there. Until he has no one else to look after him, he is still getting raised by someone.
Think of it this way:
First, Anthony had to be conceived, and then he was grown, given birth to, fed and changed. That along is a big one. When he was little he was unable of changing or feeding himself. Also, during this time, he was taken care of. He was loved, he was clothed, nurtured and he always had a roof over his head. When he was sick, he was taken to the doctor and when he fell down, there was someone to kiss it better. His parents are even now still raising him. Even if he is slightly taking care of himself when his parents are too busy to really notice him because he is to quiet.
And also, just because his parents can't recognize that he is depressed doesn't make them any worse than two other adults you might consider to be good parents. What makes the others better anyway? If they had a kid that wouldn't tell them what was wrong, they would be just as confused as Brenda and Richard. Do you see what I mean? They aren't bad parents. They aren't the best, but they are far from being terrible patents. Because despite them not understanding what is wrong with their son, they still loved and raised him when he was young and they are continuing to do so even now. Looking back, if you had parents that were there but let you take care of yourself, you’d realize they still changed your nappies. They were just absent.
11/20/2003 c18 Nevyn
*happily cries out in jubilation* Yatta! I found it! All along, your story was on this site that I never bothered to visit before this day. Did you know, that if you were to try to find your story online, all you'd find would be stuff about the Maid in Manhattan movie? It’s very annoying.
Anyway, I’m glad that I am now able to pick up this where I left off. It’s been so long. Your story is simply wonderful. Anthony gets on my nerves, but Ben is so caring. And it's a good thing that he is also so persistent. If Anthony had his way, no one would talk to him.
You’re a great writer and this really is a brilliant and wonderful story.
*happily cries out in jubilation* Yatta! I found it! All along, your story was on this site that I never bothered to visit before this day. Did you know, that if you were to try to find your story online, all you'd find would be stuff about the Maid in Manhattan movie? It’s very annoying.
Anyway, I’m glad that I am now able to pick up this where I left off. It’s been so long. Your story is simply wonderful. Anthony gets on my nerves, but Ben is so caring. And it's a good thing that he is also so persistent. If Anthony had his way, no one would talk to him.
You’re a great writer and this really is a brilliant and wonderful story.
8/31/2003 c30 NayNymic
I didn't really like the way the story ended-I wanted to see all of their reactions, and how the *hell* Anthony ever managed to stay in the US (because I don't think his mother would have been stupid/cruel enough to go with the Dad to S America and drag her son from his only support system [Ben]). But i liked it. It was real and wonderful. I just wanted to know if you'd do a follow up story. It doesn't have to be a long one like this, although that'd be nice, but I thought a story of their love once everyone knew about it would be really interesting. Hmm...think about it anyway. Email me: . If you don't want to, it's not a big deal, I just wanted to discuss the ida with you. Thanks.
NayNymic
I didn't really like the way the story ended-I wanted to see all of their reactions, and how the *hell* Anthony ever managed to stay in the US (because I don't think his mother would have been stupid/cruel enough to go with the Dad to S America and drag her son from his only support system [Ben]). But i liked it. It was real and wonderful. I just wanted to know if you'd do a follow up story. It doesn't have to be a long one like this, although that'd be nice, but I thought a story of their love once everyone knew about it would be really interesting. Hmm...think about it anyway. Email me: . If you don't want to, it's not a big deal, I just wanted to discuss the ida with you. Thanks.
NayNymic
8/23/2003 c31 6Fires of Hell
Very good story, very interesting. Sorry, its really late at night, or early in the morning depending on how you look at it, and my reviewing skills have somewhat fallen into a coma. Keep writting, your very good.
6Fires of HellVery good story, very interesting. Sorry, its really late at night, or early in the morning depending on how you look at it, and my reviewing skills have somewhat fallen into a coma. Keep writting, your very good.
8/10/2003 c31 1Grath Longflech
ACK! I HATE YOU! THAT WAS SO EVIL OF YOU TO END IT LIKE THAT! i my god i loved this story so much! it was like seriously the greatest thing i have ever read online. You gotta make a sequel or something! i'm sure many other fans agree that you can't just leave us hanging!
luv ya 4eva,
Grath
1Grath LongflechACK! I HATE YOU! THAT WAS SO EVIL OF YOU TO END IT LIKE THAT! i my god i loved this story so much! it was like seriously the greatest thing i have ever read online. You gotta make a sequel or something! i'm sure many other fans agree that you can't just leave us hanging!
luv ya 4eva,
Grath
8/3/2003 c31 17Ayakaishi Fei
Well... I found this yesterday, and stayed up till 3am this morning because I just had to finish it before I fell asleep. Making a mental note not to do that again when I have a class at 8:30 in the morning.
I loved your characters, both of them were very realistic, and the progression of their relationship enthralled me from beginning to end. I especially sympathised with Anthony, since I have been in his position, and while there were times when I was dying for him to yell that he was gay at his parents, I realised how totally hypocritical it was for me to think that. I actually did like your portrayal of his parents, I wouldn't consider them *bad* parents, per se, but they weren't good either. They just didn't know how to deal with... well anything. I would love to read a sequel, with bad-boy Gabe, but *shrugs* no pressure.
Your writing style is fluent, and easy to read. The grammer is excellent, the spelling and word-choice wonderful, the flow of the story is brilliant.
The ending gave me pause, because first I didn't like it, then I did, then I desperately wanted to know what happened next, because I'm a nosy, overly curious person.
I liked the slight overlay of religious themes, a lot of authors tend to over-exaggerate the effects of a strict religous upbringing, but Anthony's simple realisation was equally effective in its own way. I made the same decision for a very similar reason. The description of Anthony's reasoning was amazing.
Ben was... sweet. He gave Anthony what he needed, which was the most important thing. Their relationship was very balanced and I liked that about them, as well as their first "experimentation", and the way they freaked out. It added an element of realism to the story, that awed me. I could almost see it happening, and I'd love to see a movie made out of their story. *laughs*
You did manage to resolve the problems, but in a very subtle manner, which I really rather liked. I would have liked to see Anthony's mother's reaction when she found out he was gay. She reminds me alot of my mother...
Anyway, lovely story, I'd love to se a sequel. Nice job.
17Ayakaishi FeiWell... I found this yesterday, and stayed up till 3am this morning because I just had to finish it before I fell asleep. Making a mental note not to do that again when I have a class at 8:30 in the morning.
I loved your characters, both of them were very realistic, and the progression of their relationship enthralled me from beginning to end. I especially sympathised with Anthony, since I have been in his position, and while there were times when I was dying for him to yell that he was gay at his parents, I realised how totally hypocritical it was for me to think that. I actually did like your portrayal of his parents, I wouldn't consider them *bad* parents, per se, but they weren't good either. They just didn't know how to deal with... well anything. I would love to read a sequel, with bad-boy Gabe, but *shrugs* no pressure.
Your writing style is fluent, and easy to read. The grammer is excellent, the spelling and word-choice wonderful, the flow of the story is brilliant.
The ending gave me pause, because first I didn't like it, then I did, then I desperately wanted to know what happened next, because I'm a nosy, overly curious person.
I liked the slight overlay of religious themes, a lot of authors tend to over-exaggerate the effects of a strict religous upbringing, but Anthony's simple realisation was equally effective in its own way. I made the same decision for a very similar reason. The description of Anthony's reasoning was amazing.
Ben was... sweet. He gave Anthony what he needed, which was the most important thing. Their relationship was very balanced and I liked that about them, as well as their first "experimentation", and the way they freaked out. It added an element of realism to the story, that awed me. I could almost see it happening, and I'd love to see a movie made out of their story. *laughs*
You did manage to resolve the problems, but in a very subtle manner, which I really rather liked. I would have liked to see Anthony's mother's reaction when she found out he was gay. She reminds me alot of my mother...
Anyway, lovely story, I'd love to se a sequel. Nice job.
7/5/2003 c31 NoOneLivesHere
I'm sad to hear this will be the end. However, I really do LOVE this story. I couldn't "put it down" so to speak. You have an amazing writing ability, and I just want to stress how talented you are.
The characters were great, with amazing depth. I can personally relate to Anthony, as my parents are very strict catholics as well. And Ben, he's the knight in shining armor! A great story, about great love. I know they will stay together always. :)
Once again, an amazing story. Thank you.
I'm sad to hear this will be the end. However, I really do LOVE this story. I couldn't "put it down" so to speak. You have an amazing writing ability, and I just want to stress how talented you are.
The characters were great, with amazing depth. I can personally relate to Anthony, as my parents are very strict catholics as well. And Ben, he's the knight in shining armor! A great story, about great love. I know they will stay together always. :)
Once again, an amazing story. Thank you.