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5/17/2010 c2 3BlaznFangurl
Well you could tell the emotion of this chapter and her reactions were interesting ones! I can't decide what corse the story will take from this chapter though and so I don't know if that is good or bad, sometimes it is
5/17/2010 c1 BlaznFangurl
Lol, I loved the "You can do it too." It made me laugh, it was just randomly there as I continued and it made me laugh. It looks interesting enough, as long as doesn't go into horror or suspense, those things kill me o.O Nice work! :D
3/2/2010 c1 2Apoptosis
This foreword is hilarious! Seems kind of like a "Voodoo for Dummies", but without that copyrighted title. Especially the matter of mixing the atmosphere of encouragement with that of witchcraft (the demon giving the thumbs-up).

Now, when you say "They hated it for one very simple and understandable reason", I'm expecting the reason to directly follow it, but it comes a bit later. Perhaps a reorganization of the paragraph would flow a bit better.

"Quit smoking with demonic [possession]"

There's a total of 4 S's in possession. Also a hilarious title, by the way.
2/17/2010 c2 3Typing Typhoon
Haha! This is pure, utter, genius! From the ridiculous description of the book cover to the entries of a phsycotic hobo. Brilliant.
2/11/2010 c2 2Young Cali Punk
I really like the idea of Dig's diary detailing another character. It's very tricky to develop a strong voice and personality through an inanimate object, such as a book or journal, but you have the makings of a good one. One thing I would say though is don't write the journal like he's an announcer at a sporting event. It seems more like he is writing a journal for us on at fictionpress rather than he is writing a journal for himself. Honestly, if he's a lonely hobo out in a swamp, he's going to be more writing in the journal because it's the only way to talk and express himself to something. Just a suggestion. But the story is progressing nicely and I really love the sidebar comments Jada makes to herself. I myself have several points regarding the church and bereavement that i agree fully with. I'll review some more soon as I get a chance.
2/6/2010 c2 Spurlunk
This is an intriguing beginning. Your foreword really got me hooked, and though your first chapter was good, it wasn't as good as the foreword. Still, well done. I might be back to read more later on.
2/5/2010 c1 8FlamingInk57
Sorry it took me so long to return your review, but thanks anyway. So moving on, this seems like a really interesting story. You really hooked me in even though it was short like my chapter(not that its as great as this) The mysterious book seems cool. Great intro, loved it, I'm just gonna read the next chapters now.
1/28/2010 c1 8Kobra Kid
Oh wow, this sounds very interestng! I like how the book is very mysterious and that people have never heard of it. I can't wait to read more! Great intro!

~Broken Cross

P.S. Please review my story. Thanks so much!
1/20/2010 c6 4love equals rubber duckies
It's interesting to see Bob interact with today's world. Well, I doubt Dig was to much company, though.

-Sum
1/20/2010 c1 6FlynMoose
I really enjoy this. =D
1/20/2010 c6 6MeAsIAm
The story is getting really interesting. I like Jada and of course, the intriguing Bob. Looking forward to more.
1/19/2010 c6 9Experiment101
I love bob! He is adorable. :D. wish this chapter was longer, but I can't wait for another update!
1/15/2010 c5 Experiment101
This just gets more exciting! I love how bob is the most generic name ever. I think you did that on purpose... ^_^V
1/14/2010 c5 99Dreamers-Requiem
Very interesting twist with Dig & Box, and Bob is a great character. I really liked the opening of that chapter, great dialogue to show what he's like. And the 'note' at the end made me laugh, especially 'Making chicken dinner? Perfect.' Very witty.
1/13/2010 c2 Charactarantula
I have to say, I LOVE phrase repetition, and I do it myself all the time. The first paragraph is great, and the entire time I was wondering why the hell it should have been raining- because you informed me twice over that it should have been. The idea that the narrator wants it to be raining at the funeral is dark, and pretty funny. I might just like this story.

"Jada Warman stood near the front of the small, thinning crowd and watched with a face as still and impassive as stone as the casket was lowered into its' resting pit." I had to re-read this twice because of all the 'as' and things. Consider rephrasing it...

"The old church ladies would have this too bring up every time conversation went dry for" to, not too

"Saintly eggs (some of the organization had decided that the word 'deviled' was too satanic to be used on brunch items)" Awesome.

"and no time to stand around her listening to some crack head" Here, not her, unless you were intentionally referring to them being over the grave.

"father Browne" Father should be capitalized, as it his title.

Now, the diary entry didn't exactly settle with me, but I forgive it, even though I'm guessing it's going to be all over the place. The dark humor and cynical main character are enough to make me keep reading. Good work.

cheers

jake
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