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for The Playboy and the Princess

5/4/2009 c3 3The Celtic Bard
This is pitiful. What could have been an interesting chapter about the engagement turned into a play-by-play, unimaginative, and boring recitation. I'm sorry, but this is just bad!
1/18/2009 c2 1Narc
I like the voice of the narrator. It's very different from what you would expect from a fable/fairytale narrator-almost scholarly.

I didn't really like how you introduced the characters as a cast list. Again, lists just don't draw my attention. It made me want to skip over that part, assuming I'll find out about them when I read the rest of the story (although the rest isn't posted yet).
1/18/2009 c1 Narc
The line where you list off all of the fairy-tales she's studied seemed a bit unnecessary, because you go through them again in the paragraph as she ticks of the reasons why those don't work for her. Plus, with a list like that, your reader will tend to glance over it.

I absolutely loved the ending of this chapter. It was completely unexpected, up until the point where you mention that she was a different species. Great job with that reveal.

For the review marathon (link in profile)
1/14/2009 c2 5Twin-Swords-Of-Fire
"However, if you also do not like betrayal, pains in the ass, damsels in distress, witches, marriages, fights, suicides, arguments of any kind, or the liberal use of guns and swords..."

Nice AJ...nice. :P Since I love your sense of humor I look forward to this story...amongst the others you never finished because you got bored with them. :P

- Z.
1/12/2009 c2 3The Celtic Bard
I love stories that go into the...erm...backstory I guess of fairytales! They're so fun! I'm definitely looking forward to reading the rest of this!
1/11/2009 c1 The Celtic Bard
I love the beginning! It draws you in right away and makes you want to read more! I can't wait for the second chapter!
1/11/2009 c1 2kyuubified
Seems interesting! I'm excited to see what will happen next.
1/11/2009 c1 23Jem the writer
I love the writing style you've used; it flows really well and is very quirky and entertaining!

This is an original idea, and I can't wait to see where this goes. All up, it was very enjoyable to read.

I don't have much to say in the way of improvement, good job!

~JEM~

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