for Pinconning, Michigan8/4/2009 c1 
4k.maag
Good poem. I like the stream-of-consciousness style and the thoughts behind it.
My only suggestion would be that if you're going to go with the stream-of-consciousness style of poetry, you need to push the envelope more. People don't always think in complete order with the description in tow, so it makes more sense to add a random thought in one place and delete a description of a person who doesn't matter to the main idea in another.
Good job with this poem, I'd like to see more of them.
4k.maagGood poem. I like the stream-of-consciousness style and the thoughts behind it.
My only suggestion would be that if you're going to go with the stream-of-consciousness style of poetry, you need to push the envelope more. People don't always think in complete order with the description in tow, so it makes more sense to add a random thought in one place and delete a description of a person who doesn't matter to the main idea in another.
Good job with this poem, I'd like to see more of them.
1/26/2009 c1 6concerto49
It's almost as though with each phrase you're trying to pull out a mental image. This almost feels like a rhythmatic poem than a piece of prose. There's a sort of rock feel to it. Cool.
6concerto49It's almost as though with each phrase you're trying to pull out a mental image. This almost feels like a rhythmatic poem than a piece of prose. There's a sort of rock feel to it. Cool.
1/24/2009 c1 holly is fainting
I've been sitting here staring at the screen for ages trying to figure out how to review this, and I can't figure out how. I really liked it and related to it, like it was something I'd write...I just can't put into words what I'm actually thinking.
Anyway, it was interesting and unique and...surreal.
I've been sitting here staring at the screen for ages trying to figure out how to review this, and I can't figure out how. I really liked it and related to it, like it was something I'd write...I just can't put into words what I'm actually thinking.
Anyway, it was interesting and unique and...surreal.