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1/14/2009 c1 tangerine dreamer
the rhyming and flow was very good; it seemed natural. i like how in the beginning it's more stern, while the ending is more soft and loving. nice work!
1/14/2009 c1 13brunettelitlover
I'm not usually for the sappy love poem, but I like this. Just the last line. I'm sure there is a better rhyme for to... But I like it anyway. It's promising. I gotta see more!

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