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1/15/2009 c1 73An Inside Joke
I like the use of detail, and the way the narrator pieces together inferences about her personality based on the way she dresses, the bottle she drinks from, etc. The observations are really interesting, and keep the story moving along, but in a few places, you get bogged down in details. It's rarely a good idea to make generalizations when you could get more descriptive, but some of the longer paragraphs (like the description of her clothes, or the repeated descriptions of her eyes) could be trimmed down for the sake of pacing.

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