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for Untitled Love

2/6/2009 c1 sillywillymilly
This style suits you very well. I suggest writing in this style as opposed to the style of your other poetry. The first part "My love...pain" is very, very professional and poetic. So are the lines "Clouds...cocoon."

The only lines I suggest revising are "He is not here, Making this love insane"-especially the "making this love insane." The poem falls apart at that section, although managing to bring itself back together by the end.

If you can improve those lines, and are in college, I suggest submitting it to your local journal if you have one. I'd be surprised if it didn't get in.

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