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for Existence

3/16/2009 c9 1Angel-Leigh Jones

this is really good, i wasn't to sure at first but as i went it got better and better. I think it was the manual that threw me at first.

Keep going and i can't wait for an update.

3/11/2009 c1 2Wogan
Well, I just finished all the chapters to date, and so far it's definitely proving to be an interesting story. I have to admit, though, I sort of skipped chapter 1 ... haha.

I have to say - it all reminds me a hell of a lot of .hack. It doesn't seem as if you're planning very far ahead, though, so feel free to surprise us :)
3/11/2009 c8 2norahfoote

this is AWSUM!

and now that you explained its not always Ryuu talking things make so much more sense...

dying to know who hello is...

is Satsuki Ami?

laters :D
3/8/2009 c8 1Racer283
Pretty good story so far can't wait for the next chapter. So far your story keeps the readers interested in it and it has a lot of mystery in it to keep people figuring whats going on and who Ami is in Existence. Keep it up can't wait for the next one.
3/8/2009 c8 5Radiant Coffee Mug
And so, the secret is revealed; well I guess I would have found out anyway even if you hadn't told me earlier XD. Hmm, ever watched or known about Chaos; Head (By Nitroplus)? The concepts and the setting described here were quite similar, and another similarity being that Ami is very similar to a char in Ar Tonelico 2. It's pretty nostalgic to look upon the story and can somehow relate it back, and I like the vivid details you've put into the descriptions. Always a plus.

The ending is one that's strange, and it's definitely relating to the past, and the various secrets buried between Ryuu and Shun (it's easier to refer to them that way for differentiating purposes) So, we shall see. Good job as always :D

3/7/2009 c8 4Colton M. H
I liked it. It was good- I knew Ami digged him! YEAH!

He got a haircut. Now if only the guys that gave him the hair cut had broken out in song in a barbershop singing thing, that'd made this chapter perfect. lol

I'm liking this quite a lot. I liked how he tried to reach the sky- I'm guessing that this'll be explained later, and with the dying bit it means the second time in Existance he died, right?

Also, I'm thinking he was in sleep mode with the "I was too late" thing. That, or it's about him being too late to stop the death of his brother.
3/5/2009 c7 GoldenEyedFury
wicked. right now i resally want to play that game...lol update soon plz
3/5/2009 c7 5Radiant Coffee Mug
Hah, thanks for replying to my review earlier. It helped :) Although seriously, you don't have to review my story lol (I know it's long XP) but I won't stop you from reading it ;)

Anyway, this new chapter. It's quite interesting. At first I also thought that AMI could also be that little baby girl born from the egg, but I guess this is simply of a bigger plot. Surprising how she could set in the fate of a player but didn't do that to Satsuki or Ryuusuke yet. We'll have to find out what is she later on, I guess.

As for Ami's identity, how interesting... it's certainly not Satsuki (Katsuya was he?) nor Nabi? Maybe? Well, plenty of mystery to be passed around. Keep up the good work :)

3/4/2009 c2 4lookingwest
what a cool concept, i like where this plot is leading. it kind of reminds me of this world in a series called the Pendragon series, where a whole world of people jacked into a virtual reality game and it ultimately destroyed their society, because no one wanted to leave the game. creepy stuff.
3/3/2009 c1 2norahfoote
I always think it's polite to review at least one story of someone who has reviewed yours, and as you only have one I didn't have to choose. I understand that Ryuu is using the game to escape from his lonely existence both at school and at home which is why I don't understand him shunning Ami everytime she tries to talk to him. It makes him seem really rude rather than taken aback by her forwardness. Although you could reveal the reason for this later.

The typical "favourite son" mentality in that Shun was more important to their mother and father is spot on. I'm assuming that Shun is the older of the twins as in the first japanese text in chapter 0 the Kanji used is older brother, not just brother. I hope that the username leads to Shun apologising for the years he has treated Ryuu badly to promote himself.

I can't think of anything else I find faults in.

I really like this story though, the concept is brilliant and I will subscribe as I'm looking forwrd to reading more :D
3/2/2009 c7 1Racer283
Very interesting chapter can't wait for the next chapter.
3/1/2009 c1 Racer283
This is a very interesting story. I enjoy reading it and Im doing something similiar to what your story is but it very different from what you are writing. Can't wait for the next chapter
2/28/2009 c6 5Radiant Coffee Mug
Certainly very interesting. Albeit strange at first, I am starting to like where you are going with this, albeit the fact that at end of chapter 5 you are as confused as the rest of us.

I assume that by your attempt at Japanese, you are either taking a class at it, or has some knowledge but is most likely familiar with Kanji (chinese grammar doesn't always work with Kanji lol)But yeah, it was good effort. I could understand them to some degree, what you wrote XP

I've played mmorpgs before, and I am rather familiar with the various aspects you've applied about high lvls and mmorpgs in general, and simply integrate it as a way similar to trying to enforce a fantasy setting or introduce sci-fi like .hack style. Though that's been used before, I liked its intrigue. Well, hope to see you continue pulling out stuff that's not manual-related. In some ways it keep reminding me of deathnote-related settings and whatnot.

I myself use first person, so to have another writer using first person is rather nice. Sometimes, it's rather effective using a limited perspective to show how giant and infinite a world is, and that not everything revolves around you. Good job :)

2/27/2009 c6 4Colton M. H
Not much to say on this- it's a manual. XD
2/27/2009 c1 ForTheLoveOfWords
...kill him AGAIN?
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