for Rose of Sharon10/8/2013 c12 
13Revamp
Terrie's reaction to Orion was wonderful. I love how Orion gets misconstrued by Terrie's hip lingo. It's a nice touch of cultural barriers. I know it's been a really long time since you've updated this but I've loved this story since I saw it on Fictionpress, and I hope that you will update it one day.
13RevampTerrie's reaction to Orion was wonderful. I love how Orion gets misconstrued by Terrie's hip lingo. It's a nice touch of cultural barriers. I know it's been a really long time since you've updated this but I've loved this story since I saw it on Fictionpress, and I hope that you will update it one day.
10/8/2013 c11 Revamp
I'm glad that the king was able to heal. The conversation between he and Heaven was deep and insightful. There was some nice interaction in this chapter. I also love how Orion struggled internally with his self confidence. It showed great depth of characterization in him and I do hope Britt's prayers will be answered.
I'm glad that the king was able to heal. The conversation between he and Heaven was deep and insightful. There was some nice interaction in this chapter. I also love how Orion struggled internally with his self confidence. It showed great depth of characterization in him and I do hope Britt's prayers will be answered.
10/8/2013 c10 Revamp
Heaven and Orion are so cute here. So the King is dying? How sad. Poor Orion. No wonder Britt was so sad. There was a lot of tension in this chapter. I wonder what Heaven saw as well.
Heaven and Orion are so cute here. So the King is dying? How sad. Poor Orion. No wonder Britt was so sad. There was a lot of tension in this chapter. I wonder what Heaven saw as well.
10/8/2013 c9 Revamp
Nice explanation of Britt's character. It's to see more of Terrie and her relationship with Heaven as well. I love the little insinuations between Orion and Heaven. Terrie certainly likes to tease her about her royal "boyfriend". Lol. It might have been a filler but I like the way that Heaven, Terrie and Britt are interacting and just sort of hanging out together like friends.
Nice explanation of Britt's character. It's to see more of Terrie and her relationship with Heaven as well. I love the little insinuations between Orion and Heaven. Terrie certainly likes to tease her about her royal "boyfriend". Lol. It might have been a filler but I like the way that Heaven, Terrie and Britt are interacting and just sort of hanging out together like friends.
10/8/2013 c8 Guest
I love the interactions of Orion and Heaven in this chapter. They really are a very cute couple. I can say that I ship the two of them together a lot. Heaven is certainly enjoying being treated like a princess and pampered. I wonder what the sad news was that Britt had woried. I also like your character sheet on Heaven as well.
I love the interactions of Orion and Heaven in this chapter. They really are a very cute couple. I can say that I ship the two of them together a lot. Heaven is certainly enjoying being treated like a princess and pampered. I wonder what the sad news was that Britt had woried. I also like your character sheet on Heaven as well.
10/8/2013 c7 Guest
I really love Britt's character. He's my number one favorite of this story so far with Heaven being underneath of him. I'm glad that I finally got to see some sort of background story on Sharon and Legion. I love the structure of your prophecy as well. It was very powerful and poetically worded. I also like how this chaopter ties in your prologue. It's a nice information dump.
I really love Britt's character. He's my number one favorite of this story so far with Heaven being underneath of him. I'm glad that I finally got to see some sort of background story on Sharon and Legion. I love the structure of your prophecy as well. It was very powerful and poetically worded. I also like how this chaopter ties in your prologue. It's a nice information dump.
10/8/2013 c6 Revamp
I love how Heaven's grandfather's words came back to her in her hour of need like a guiding light, I wonder who those figures were who talked about Heaven being 'the one' and wondering what she tasted like. Could these be the main bad guys of Legion?
When Heaven called Britt 'Tiny' I chuckled a bit at his reaction.
So Heaven is the Purifier but what exactly is the purifier's job? I look forward to reading more!
I love how Heaven's grandfather's words came back to her in her hour of need like a guiding light, I wonder who those figures were who talked about Heaven being 'the one' and wondering what she tasted like. Could these be the main bad guys of Legion?
When Heaven called Britt 'Tiny' I chuckled a bit at his reaction.
So Heaven is the Purifier but what exactly is the purifier's job? I look forward to reading more!
10/7/2013 c5 Revamp
Heaven is facing the sludge monster now. Man, her luck knows no bounds. I love the action scenes of her fight and the interaction of Britt and the prince. Britt is becoming more and more likable for me. He and Heaven stand out among your characters. Poor Heaven struggling as she watches Sajita in the grasp of death. What will happen next? I'm going to read ahead and see!
Heaven is facing the sludge monster now. Man, her luck knows no bounds. I love the action scenes of her fight and the interaction of Britt and the prince. Britt is becoming more and more likable for me. He and Heaven stand out among your characters. Poor Heaven struggling as she watches Sajita in the grasp of death. What will happen next? I'm going to read ahead and see!
10/7/2013 c4 Revamp
This chapter was exciting, with Heaven's fall that was crashed by a beautiful man. The fact that Heaven was mistaken for a boy was pretty funny. Heaven is just having an eventful day isn't she? Great chapter full of nice action!
This chapter was exciting, with Heaven's fall that was crashed by a beautiful man. The fact that Heaven was mistaken for a boy was pretty funny. Heaven is just having an eventful day isn't she? Great chapter full of nice action!
10/7/2013 c3 Revamp
I love how this chapter started off serious, only to end with Heaven kicking the crap out of the attractive guy nearly naked. I love how she is just kicking ass in the bath area like a pro. The sene where she starts chunking various bathing articles at them is priceless. This whole scene made me chuckle, actually.
Heaven is definitely an unlucky girl to get such an alarming gift on her birthday. I love how the prince reached into his pants and everyone believed he was being a pervert. Heaven is defiant to the end. I love her fighting spirit.
I really like Britt. I have a feeling he'll be my favorite character in this story. I look forward to reading your next chapter!
I love how this chapter started off serious, only to end with Heaven kicking the crap out of the attractive guy nearly naked. I love how she is just kicking ass in the bath area like a pro. The sene where she starts chunking various bathing articles at them is priceless. This whole scene made me chuckle, actually.
Heaven is definitely an unlucky girl to get such an alarming gift on her birthday. I love how the prince reached into his pants and everyone believed he was being a pervert. Heaven is defiant to the end. I love her fighting spirit.
I really like Britt. I have a feeling he'll be my favorite character in this story. I look forward to reading your next chapter!
10/7/2013 c2 Revamp
I like the girl's grandfather's advice about killing the weeds around the flower to save it and measuring the cost of life to do what you believe is the greater good.
The sparring scene between them is well-written and a nice touch of action in the beginning of the story. I could feel the tension between them. Heaven and Terrie's interactions were amusing I wonder what the robed figures want with her and why and how they appeared to her in the shower of all places. This is getting interesting.
I like the girl's grandfather's advice about killing the weeds around the flower to save it and measuring the cost of life to do what you believe is the greater good.
The sparring scene between them is well-written and a nice touch of action in the beginning of the story. I could feel the tension between them. Heaven and Terrie's interactions were amusing I wonder what the robed figures want with her and why and how they appeared to her in the shower of all places. This is getting interesting.
10/1/2013 c1 Revamp
This prologue started off with a bang. It was very emotionally driven, especially with the dialogue between the king and his son. I like the dialouge between the king and Lord Britt as well and I am intrigued with Lord Britt's character in general. So far, this serves as a nice premise for things to come. I like the way that you present your action sequences. Great job!
This prologue started off with a bang. It was very emotionally driven, especially with the dialogue between the king and his son. I like the dialouge between the king and Lord Britt as well and I am intrigued with Lord Britt's character in general. So far, this serves as a nice premise for things to come. I like the way that you present your action sequences. Great job!
8/19/2009 c12 Minoan Ferret Not logged in
FP wouldn't let me review again, even though the chapter's changed. And secondly, sorry this has been a long time coming. I went back and re-read the whole story so I wouldn't miss anything.
Anyway, a good rewrite. I likes the way it was toned down, but you still kept a little something between the two. Now I can look at Orion without thinking "meany!". The way he didn't understand Heaven's earth sayings was a nice touch, especially the way he misinterpreted "banging"! Reminds me of one of my characters...
Terrie's quite a laugh with her ways, and being able to do some crazy stuff but not cook.
Seeing Sajita back was good too; I wondered where he got to. I thought Orion might accompany Heaven, but Sajita should make things interesting. Suppose someone has to look after that kingdom of Sharon now Madaius is gone.
The little quote from Madaius was a nice little piece too; very poetic. I do wonder about the bit about a sacrifice that must be made... a foreshadowing perhaps? And Priest Hinaldi might be one to watch out for too.
Re-reading the whole story, it's interesting to see how your writing's really developed and improved over time. So, well done with that.
Hope that was a good review (after the long wait and all), especially after I had a chapter dedicated to me. Thanks for that :). Hope you find the time to continue updating, and I look forward to seeing more!
FP wouldn't let me review again, even though the chapter's changed. And secondly, sorry this has been a long time coming. I went back and re-read the whole story so I wouldn't miss anything.
Anyway, a good rewrite. I likes the way it was toned down, but you still kept a little something between the two. Now I can look at Orion without thinking "meany!". The way he didn't understand Heaven's earth sayings was a nice touch, especially the way he misinterpreted "banging"! Reminds me of one of my characters...
Terrie's quite a laugh with her ways, and being able to do some crazy stuff but not cook.
Seeing Sajita back was good too; I wondered where he got to. I thought Orion might accompany Heaven, but Sajita should make things interesting. Suppose someone has to look after that kingdom of Sharon now Madaius is gone.
The little quote from Madaius was a nice little piece too; very poetic. I do wonder about the bit about a sacrifice that must be made... a foreshadowing perhaps? And Priest Hinaldi might be one to watch out for too.
Re-reading the whole story, it's interesting to see how your writing's really developed and improved over time. So, well done with that.
Hope that was a good review (after the long wait and all), especially after I had a chapter dedicated to me. Thanks for that :). Hope you find the time to continue updating, and I look forward to seeing more!
8/4/2009 c12 TreeWhisperer
I can't wait to find out what happens next! You've really hooked me; this story is absolutely amazing! And congratulations on your engagement! :D
I can't wait to find out what happens next! You've really hooked me; this story is absolutely amazing! And congratulations on your engagement! :D
8/4/2009 c9 TreeWhisperer
Awesome chapter! When she woke up in her own home, I got really suspicious and I was wondering what happened... I thought that maybe she had already killed Legion, returned home, but didn't remember... I'm happy that the action isn't over yet! ^_^
Awesome chapter! When she woke up in her own home, I got really suspicious and I was wondering what happened... I thought that maybe she had already killed Legion, returned home, but didn't remember... I'm happy that the action isn't over yet! ^_^