8/26/2009 c17 3talye05
Must...click...review button!

-gives in-

xD Gary amuses me to no end. I was kind of upset when Zander saw Gwen kissing Isaac though; goth boy gets no love. ): Did Gwen realize how obsessed Zander was when he went off on his mini-tirade about how he'd throw himself off a building if she asked? (Now that I think of that, it would be kind of hard not to...)

Well, at least he has his plushies, if nothing else. (Har har, Gary the snail...)

8/20/2009 c1 7The Egg
A kindergartener saying "shut the hell up"? Give me a break, ha. Otherwise this chapter was decent; I'm interested to see where the story will take me, and how Alex will develop. It's pretty rare to see a story start at the early childhood of the protagonist.

7/10

8/19/2009 c10 AwesomerErin
-Chapter 9-

“Yes, but you’re at church. Have a taught you nothing about tact?”

(Check out the last sentence)

-

:)

Erin

8/17/2009 c7 AwesomerErin
-Prologue-

Scowling, Alex L. ripped his ruined coloring page in half before walking to the shelf. The milk cartons had been delivered about ten minutes ago, and he picked up two with caution. Because he though mad cow disease could seep through the wet cardboard, he was careful not to touch the cold parts.

(Add a ‘t’ to) though

Alex L. didn't walk over to the classroom sink. He was growing angrier by the second. Everyone treated him like he was stupid. It wasn’t fair at all. Why should he have known where the paper towels were? He decided to handle this like a grown-up.

(Shouldn’t it be) more angry (rather than) angrier

-

-Chapter 1-

I wouldn’t have minded being roadkill, I thought as I shaded the mangled rabbit I’d drawn in the margin of my suicide note. I wasn’t sure if I felt like killing myself right now, though. Life sucked, but I was missing the end of history, which meant ten fewer minutes of Brandon Jordan poking me. Maybe I shouldn’t have called him a stupid fuckwad, but he was a stupid fuckwad. Either way, I was now sitting here quite peacefully with Marilyn Manson blaring in my ears, so maybe I wasn’t having such a bad day after all—

(How about italicizing) I wouldn’t have minded being roadkill (?)

-

-Chapter 4-

“I’m not getting the door! Youget the door! I can’t get the door!” I said, panicking. My mother didn’t understand the urgency of this situation. I didn’t have any young-looking female friends. It could have been anyone. It could have been Gwen. I didn’t know why Gwen would’ve come to my house, but it was completely possible….

(Space between) Youget

-

-Chapter 5-

“You already got to miss plenty of school, and you can’t afford to use up any more absences. Knowing you, you’ll need them. Besides, I’m going shopping with the ladies today,a and I can’t leave you home alone. Quit being such a brat and finish your waffle,” she said, now sounding annoyed.

(Fix) today,a

“Oh, okay. Ilove your new hair, by the way. It doesn’t look like came out of a pond covered in algae anymore. You really should’ve let me touch it up because it looked so cool when it was new. But now it’s just all black, and that’s cool, too. Black is the best color.”

(Space between) Ilove

-

-Chapter 6-

“Isn’t he the one Jesse found trying to an hero?” blurted a boy with very straight hair and an eyebrow piercing. He looked like a senior.

(Uhh…I’d look at the dialogue.)

“Ew, Gwen, why are you reading that crap?” said Rhinoceros Girl, who had returned with her fries, and she snatched the magazine out of Gwen’s hands. “I hope you’re only reading it to be ironic.”

(Question…wasn’t she getting chips?)

3/7/2009 c4 3talye05
o:

Another chapter, yay!

-helps Zander stabbity the giant scone- Have at thee, evil scone-beast!

Keep up the great work! -gives a truckload of pies for having a great story with awesome grammar and spelling-

2/14/2009 c2 11Clementine Augustine
I really enjoy the updated version. Zander is a great character, partially because he appeals to my love of anything that is seemingly or actually alternative :).

I love how realistic he is and how you didn't try to force the reader into liking/pitying/hating any of the characters; it happened with the help of your quite excellent writing skills of making interesting characters and portraying them nicely.

I hope you continue redoing this story. It's lovely.