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12/2/2012 c3 pINk aNd GreeN CandyStripE
please continue asap. :)
12/27/2011 c3 D. M. Gotmen
Did she get lost or something? Haha Anyways... Update soon please! :D
11/3/2009 c3 6Andene
I was laughing at the internal scanner thing...and the magnet analogy was pretty good...but then again I'm a chem major and apparently we have bad senses of humor...

You kept the chapter interesting!

Please update soon!
11/3/2009 c2 Andene
Great story so far!

Ryan...so mysterious! Loving it!

Going on to the next chapter!
11/3/2009 c1 Andene
You have an awesome story going here. I know how Jane feels...I pretty much hate trying to make friends. I love being on my own.

It's very interesting!
2/8/2009 c3 holly is fainting
Yes an update! I was honestly just thinking about this story the day before last, going "When's she gonna update, it's been awhile..." lol.

I love Finch! I want to steal him and keep him in my closet! haha. He's just so cute. I hope we get more of him in the story. Is he the romantic interest? At first I thought maybe it'd be the surly stepbro but now I'm not sure. I can't really picture it being Ryan because in my mind Ryan is not that good-looking. It's the long red hair I think. haha. Of course, *I* have long red hair...but I'm a girl...anyway, this chapter was your best so far. Great descriptions, building tone and setting (like describing the old man at the bus stop, the wind in Finch's hair as he was walking away, etc.) It really helps the reader get into the story.

Update soon! ^_^
2/7/2009 c3 5starbance
ahh wtf? I really wanna noe wuts going to happen I love this story can't wait for the next update
1/25/2009 c2 Emz
Hey, i just wanted to drop a review to say that i love the beginning... can't wait til the next chap!
1/24/2009 c2 starbance
o i totally enjoyed this chapter. it's nice to see that Ryan is nicer then Jake :) i really like your story and can't wait for the next update
1/24/2009 c2 5I Murder on Impulse
Ahh! I like Ryan alot more :D I love Jane!

xx
1/24/2009 c2 holly is fainting
Is it okay if I pretend that Ryan has short hair? Long hair creeps me out. lol. Good chapter, I'm glad you updated pretty quick! Living in America, I love reading all the British type stuff. "Timetables" haha. Yeah. I visited Ireland once but never made it over to England, though I wanted to.

A couple things I wanted to mention, I think you can leave out the descriptions of the rooms and buildings. Just a couple descriptive words is fine, if that. A lot of writing books will tell you that everything in your story, every word and every sentence, should do something to propel your plot forward. Whether it reveals character, foreshadowing (like you did in the previous chapter; the description of the house was used to convey foreboding and mystery), it has to keep the story going. If it doesn't move the story forward it'll bore the readers, and should be chucked. Also, "Lizzie continuously kept spitting out words" is redundant, it should be "Lizzie continuously spit out words" OR "Lizzie kept spitting out words". Yeah...I obviously wish I was an English teacher...

I hope you don't mind the constructive criticism. Truth is, I only criticize stories I really like, so you can be flattered. :)
1/24/2009 c2 7MyDecoy
holy crap .!

omfg .! more

lol. i liked the ending =]
1/18/2009 c1 neon-notions
I'm glad you decided to write another story. I'm really looking forward to seeing where this one goes! Please update quickly!
1/18/2009 c1 5starbance
o I like this story already!

update soon please!
1/18/2009 c1 2ValSilph
Yay! This looks like it's going to be a great story. I'm quite looking forward to the next chapter :)
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