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3/18/2009 c1 15born backwards
I really enjoyed this story so much.

It could have been longer, but it was good. I loved the emotion and the passion that they had for one another. Their relationship was like perfection.

To answer your question, yes I am going to continue with "Siah's Secret". I have put up chapter 1 and am currently working on chapter 2. Please tell me what you think. Any opinion is appreciated.
1/29/2009 c4 29Robyn Kolbe
The fifth chapter is a nice connection point. The third and fourth chapters could improve a little with more connection between Steph and Matthew. Otherwise nice
1/29/2009 c6 879Moondog Dozier
I like the ending, though it is brief. You've wrapped everything up well, but I feel the jail scene and dialogue were a bit too tame for the degree of the situation. I don't know, I guess I was just waiting for some anger, hatred, emotional signs of the betrayal, but perhaps she was just so exhausted that it might not have occurred in this situation, especially with the promise of a brighter future. Overall, it's a very well developed and interesting read, it seems that the first boyfriend perhaps deserved a harsher fate than prison, but it is a truly thought provoking story and situation. Good write. MD:77.
1/26/2009 c6 88Militant Poet
Aww, that was a very nice way to end a good story! Enjoyable stuff!
1/25/2009 c6 65Aquafied
perfect ending

kind of eerie
1/25/2009 c6 88multiples of six
Aww, that was a nice ending. It's funny how things work out sometimes. =) And I really like the first line of this chapter!
1/23/2009 c5 88Militant Poet
Your sex scene is powerfully written, and is physical and emotional without being sappy. I enjoyed this chapter especially, and like your characters.
1/23/2009 c5 879Moondog Dozier
This clears up quite a bit, as it explains why he, the boyfriend, would involve her parents to this degree, unless they had weatlh or knowledge of something that he knew was valuable. Perhaps, the end encounter might deserve its own chapter. Well written. MD:77.
1/23/2009 c4 Moondog Dozier
I enjoy the progression, and the narrative turns that this takes in order to clear up the continuation of activity. The point of view works well, though perhaps more depth and description to what she's going through might add to the connection for the reader. Maybe, like finding something memorable at her parents house, a family photograph or a childhood gift, something of that nature to draw the reader in to the pain and anxiety that she must be feeling at this point. Perhaps, even smashing something of her boyfriends or just verbalizing the anger that she has upon learning of all this. I like the progression, but it seems she might be portrayed as a little standoffish emotionally to be going through this sort of turmoil. MD:77.
1/23/2009 c3 Moondog Dozier
Chapter three seems to clear up alot, and I like the pace. It moves quickly, like the way the situation would occur if you learned all these things at once. I like how you've woven in the dreary weather and sites at the beginning of this chapter. It parallels the later revelations well. The suddenness of this chapter works well, because it off sets the questions that the first two chapters raised in a rapid fashion that contrasts well to keep the reader interested and aware of how the situation has been now somewhat understood by the main character. I think the pace is well developed in this chapter. It works. MD:77.
1/22/2009 c5 88multiples of six
Well, I have to say, this is really good! I did find it a bit rushed, but it's cute and an original idea. The only other CC I would say is it's pretty hard to believe that Nick was this wonderful boyfriend who turned out to be cheating and lying without any warning. At the beginning, Steph feels bored/tied down, but could she really have had no idea about any of this? Just a thought. I'll be waiting for the last chapter. =)
1/21/2009 c2 879Moondog Dozier
This brings more of a situational interest in for the reader. It makes the reader start asking questions and making assumptions that the actual characters are doing at that same time. I like how you've left it quite vague so far. With no specific detail as to why this situation came about, boyfriend not picking her up-parents not answering their phone. This gives it the type of feel necessary to make this kind of encounter realistic and believable. Very thought provoking for the reader to this point. Well written, and especially well detailed with the exterior parts of the narrative. MD:77.
1/21/2009 c1 Moondog Dozier
I like the amount of detail, both emotional and scene, that you've provided for the reader. The way that it is progressing it seems to be a mysterious adventure type situation. The way that you've led the reader through the scenes with familiar detail enhances the connection that the reader feels for the situation. The way this has been developed so far seems very intriguing. I hope to get a chance to read the other chapters soon. Good to read something of yours again. MD:77.
1/21/2009 c4 9emilybh
Tis cute!
1/21/2009 c1 emilybh
New Zealand! Not often you find it in a story...

I like it so far...:D just wanted to comment on the New Zealand thing. Why'd you pick it?
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