for Rash Reactions10/9/2017 c4 Lexie.Loo
Interesting premise, poor execution. Feels like a a very inexperienced writer. I live a good cliche but this just felt juvenile.
Interesting premise, poor execution. Feels like a a very inexperienced writer. I live a good cliche but this just felt juvenile.
5/16/2016 c23 mommoms.girl
This is one of my favorite storys I've read. I reread it all the time thank u for this story
This is one of my favorite storys I've read. I reread it all the time thank u for this story
1/23/2015 c5 xPencilsCamerasx
Hate to be a downer, but he sounds like a girl. So does Hale.
Hate to be a downer, but he sounds like a girl. So does Hale.
7/26/2014 c5 menima211
Awww I just love this development! I wonder if Asher noticed Ryley's erection BTW it should be "he was quiet at first" instead of quite. :)
Awww I just love this development! I wonder if Asher noticed Ryley's erection BTW it should be "he was quiet at first" instead of quite. :)
7/26/2014 c4 menima211
First of all I just discovered this story and it is amazing. The misunderstanding was just great. On another note if you're interested in editing this story one of your "allowed" in this is spelt as "aloud."
First of all I just discovered this story and it is amazing. The misunderstanding was just great. On another note if you're interested in editing this story one of your "allowed" in this is spelt as "aloud."
12/30/2012 c23 
2heyitsstupidme
I really enjoyed reading this and I like the characters (I don't know why, but I especially liked Shane and Hale). I really like the ending and the whole plot.
But I think that Rylan's problems didn't just go away after he and Ash got together.
Well, maybe he forgot about them for a while and he will slowly get rid of them, but the nightmares and flashbacks were pretty extreme, so I wondered why Rylan didn't doubt anything or thought about his past or problems anymore.
I loved the fluffines at the end though. :)
2heyitsstupidmeI really enjoyed reading this and I like the characters (I don't know why, but I especially liked Shane and Hale). I really like the ending and the whole plot.
But I think that Rylan's problems didn't just go away after he and Ash got together.
Well, maybe he forgot about them for a while and he will slowly get rid of them, but the nightmares and flashbacks were pretty extreme, so I wondered why Rylan didn't doubt anything or thought about his past or problems anymore.
I loved the fluffines at the end though. :)
10/14/2012 c23 kaymom72
This was a great story. If you ever read this just know that you've got talent. By now you've probably finished college. Hope you continue writing. The story was very believable and the characters were Yummy.
Thanks
This was a great story. If you ever read this just know that you've got talent. By now you've probably finished college. Hope you continue writing. The story was very believable and the characters were Yummy.
Thanks
7/24/2012 c23 Mandi
My new favorite story! :) Going to go check out the rest of the stuff you've written right now. Ash and Ry are the most adorable thing! ;D
My new favorite story! :) Going to go check out the rest of the stuff you've written right now. Ash and Ry are the most adorable thing! ;D
2/15/2012 c7 Schizzar
So this review is coming pretty early in the story so what I have to say here might change over time butttt here we go.
So overall, I like this so far. However, there are some signs of an amateur writer, that I think if I point out, you can fix them. I made the same mistakes in some of my old writings as well, and you'd be surprised how quickly it changes once you know you're actually doing it.
You go into too much depth describing clothes. It might feel needed, but it really isn't. Instead of describing exactly what the paint splatters looked like, you could've just said something like "they were splattered with every color in the rainbow with a bit of silver thrown in for good measure" That's just one example of when you seem to go in depth too much.
Another thing is I feel like Rylan is treading very close to a Gary-Sue. I still have problems in my own writing with this particular issue, and if you ever do a rewrite of this, I'd do some serious analyzing of his character. I find getting to know your characters really well helps you get rid of the things that make them way too unrealistic.
That's not to say Rylan's a bad character. I just think he could use some tweaking. The other issues were mostly small. There are some really awesome moments where your writing flows nicely and it's fun to read. So uh...I know this story was finished forever ago but there's my thoughts, if you're interested.
And now I shall continue reading!
So this review is coming pretty early in the story so what I have to say here might change over time butttt here we go.
So overall, I like this so far. However, there are some signs of an amateur writer, that I think if I point out, you can fix them. I made the same mistakes in some of my old writings as well, and you'd be surprised how quickly it changes once you know you're actually doing it.
You go into too much depth describing clothes. It might feel needed, but it really isn't. Instead of describing exactly what the paint splatters looked like, you could've just said something like "they were splattered with every color in the rainbow with a bit of silver thrown in for good measure" That's just one example of when you seem to go in depth too much.
Another thing is I feel like Rylan is treading very close to a Gary-Sue. I still have problems in my own writing with this particular issue, and if you ever do a rewrite of this, I'd do some serious analyzing of his character. I find getting to know your characters really well helps you get rid of the things that make them way too unrealistic.
That's not to say Rylan's a bad character. I just think he could use some tweaking. The other issues were mostly small. There are some really awesome moments where your writing flows nicely and it's fun to read. So uh...I know this story was finished forever ago but there's my thoughts, if you're interested.
And now I shall continue reading!
12/8/2011 c23 1falling-into-fate
OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO AWESOME! I loved every single bit of it! :'D Amaaaaaaazing job~! ♥ -tear- I can't believe it's over.
1falling-into-fateOH MY GOD THIS WAS SO AWESOME! I loved every single bit of it! :'D Amaaaaaaazing job~! ♥ -tear- I can't believe it's over.