for Sonnet to a Blind Man4/18/2009 c2 
1xenolith
I gotta say it was your summary that drew me into this, and upon finishing the first chapter I found it was nothing like what I was expecting. And I was pleasantly surprised!
I think what I liked the most was your way of writing, the whole feel of it was kinda bleak and dark and the short, cynical sentences really set the mood. I particularly liked the part: 'moronic kids born too early to moronic parents'.
Your second chapter was good, if not better than the first. Short and sweet and just enough detail mixed in with the gloomy, slightly obscure ranting to keep me interested in sticking around to see what his story actually is.
That said, I look forward to any further updates!
1xenolithI gotta say it was your summary that drew me into this, and upon finishing the first chapter I found it was nothing like what I was expecting. And I was pleasantly surprised!
I think what I liked the most was your way of writing, the whole feel of it was kinda bleak and dark and the short, cynical sentences really set the mood. I particularly liked the part: 'moronic kids born too early to moronic parents'.
Your second chapter was good, if not better than the first. Short and sweet and just enough detail mixed in with the gloomy, slightly obscure ranting to keep me interested in sticking around to see what his story actually is.
That said, I look forward to any further updates!
1/24/2009 c1 My World Of Indulgence
you called him a boy (when someone was grabbed) after describing him as a man. was that a typo or did you switch point of view or was it done on purpose or am i missing a character and being completely retarded right now? because then the narrator calls the man a kid and now im just fucking confused. whos the narrator? and whos telling the story? idk, but it was an interesting read. original with a great closing sentence. keep it up. maybe next chapter will be clearer. :)
you called him a boy (when someone was grabbed) after describing him as a man. was that a typo or did you switch point of view or was it done on purpose or am i missing a character and being completely retarded right now? because then the narrator calls the man a kid and now im just fucking confused. whos the narrator? and whos telling the story? idk, but it was an interesting read. original with a great closing sentence. keep it up. maybe next chapter will be clearer. :)