for Newbie Visits The Review Game8/23/2009 c3 
7Duckies
Love is in the air! This is awesome so far :D
I absolutely adore your characterisation of Frac - so amusing! All your chapter engings are great as well, they each have a really strong sense of finality, making each section feel almost like a small story on its own - which, I suppose in a way they are. Loving all the descriptions, and the humor even more! Can't wait to see how this progresses
7DuckiesLove is in the air! This is awesome so far :D
I absolutely adore your characterisation of Frac - so amusing! All your chapter engings are great as well, they each have a really strong sense of finality, making each section feel almost like a small story on its own - which, I suppose in a way they are. Loving all the descriptions, and the humor even more! Can't wait to see how this progresses
8/21/2009 c1 Duckies
Bahahaha! Loved it! Your description of karas made me choke xD *squeaked* *ran off to get some more sugar* (I'm not quoting directly, but y'know - brilliant.
These are just general comments btw, sorry I'm not reviewing according to EF standards here...
Bahahaha! Loved it! Your description of karas made me choke xD *squeaked* *ran off to get some more sugar* (I'm not quoting directly, but y'know - brilliant.
These are just general comments btw, sorry I'm not reviewing according to EF standards here...
7/17/2009 c9 5karma-dollie
Oh, I'm totally tearing. *dabs eyes* That was an awesome ending. So sad, but so lovely! I'm gonna miss Noob. I hope he had fun with the craziness that is RG and BWB. And I love what you did with BWB too. Haha! Rereading those lines from past chapters totally made me all happy-sad-ish, but that's good. Nice touch.
I instinctively want to say "can't wait for your next update!" but this is it so I'll refrain from that. Amazing RGFF! I hope something inspires you to make another one. :D
~Radio
5karma-dollieOh, I'm totally tearing. *dabs eyes* That was an awesome ending. So sad, but so lovely! I'm gonna miss Noob. I hope he had fun with the craziness that is RG and BWB. And I love what you did with BWB too. Haha! Rereading those lines from past chapters totally made me all happy-sad-ish, but that's good. Nice touch.
I instinctively want to say "can't wait for your next update!" but this is it so I'll refrain from that. Amazing RGFF! I hope something inspires you to make another one. :D
~Radio
7/12/2009 c9 Fractured Illusion
"“I bet it’ll be great. I saw some of your other stories, I liked them. "
Lawl omg, self-pimping whore XD
"They coalesced into two syllables and then echoed back into non existence:
...The End"
O_o
...
...
...
I feel so empty! T_T
Is this really the end? D= Honestly?
Either way, I thought the reveal here was nicely done, very dramatic, I was like, OMG OMG HE GUNNA KNOW AND OMG! And OMG he did find out. And now its erased :o
Why didnt you punch him, woman! Knocked him out? Blah! *grumbles* It's like you WANTED him to know, you little nasty martyr.
You know I never actually thought about the writing sound from before. But this was a good conclusion to it, and everything else! Even though you tried to add a bit of humor, it was still kinda sad... :/
"like a tab being closed on a computer screen."
Awesome line haah.
Well, uh, the end I gues? Geez I feel awkward. I am not really the type of person to withstand a multichap all the way to the end. Dunno what to say... O_o?
- Da Frac
"“I bet it’ll be great. I saw some of your other stories, I liked them. "
Lawl omg, self-pimping whore XD
"They coalesced into two syllables and then echoed back into non existence:
...The End"
O_o
...
...
...
I feel so empty! T_T
Is this really the end? D= Honestly?
Either way, I thought the reveal here was nicely done, very dramatic, I was like, OMG OMG HE GUNNA KNOW AND OMG! And OMG he did find out. And now its erased :o
Why didnt you punch him, woman! Knocked him out? Blah! *grumbles* It's like you WANTED him to know, you little nasty martyr.
You know I never actually thought about the writing sound from before. But this was a good conclusion to it, and everything else! Even though you tried to add a bit of humor, it was still kinda sad... :/
"like a tab being closed on a computer screen."
Awesome line haah.
Well, uh, the end I gues? Geez I feel awkward. I am not really the type of person to withstand a multichap all the way to the end. Dunno what to say... O_o?
- Da Frac
7/12/2009 c9 13Nicki BluIs
*sheds a tear for Noob*
He was too young! But what an epic way to end things, m'dear! I like! And yay for a complete RGFF!
Bubbles :P
PS - I always kinda thought Noob would be crushing on me :( *is not self-centered at all, no she is not* XD
13Nicki BluIs*sheds a tear for Noob*
He was too young! But what an epic way to end things, m'dear! I like! And yay for a complete RGFF!
Bubbles :P
PS - I always kinda thought Noob would be crushing on me :( *is not self-centered at all, no she is not* XD
7/12/2009 c9 13VelvetyCheerio
OMFG best ending to a story I have ever wanted to read! It made the hairs on my head stand up, that was so cool! 8D Beatles, that was like... I don't even know! But it was AWESOME!
[Sunlit corridors; ream upon ream of paper; cinnamon skin.] I loved this line, so simple, so image filled! Is this already on my favorites? Damn, I wish I could add it again. Maybe I can...
[His head felt like half dried cement with pop rocks in it.] [Words, too many words, all sleeting straight through Noob’s mangled brain.] These two sentences were so cool, this entire chapter was the shit!
[Whatever happens, whatever the consequences, I will find out what it is.] Foreshadowing?
[The light was dim, the darkness oppressive; the words seemed heavier with each stroke of the pen, and there was so much left to write.] Oh how the tortured author must write!
And then that entire scene between Noob and you was just awesome. I wish there was a word to describe it, but basically it was that lip biting, gut twisting, body trembling type of awesome where you can't bear to stop reading cause you just have to find out!
[And then they both disappeared: like a wave crashing down on the beach of reality; like Frac boiling over at a witless newbie, like a tab being closed on a computer screen.] BEST LINE EVER!
The last five sentences were what gave me the chills! Ooh! So, good! Damn, Beebee, that took major skillz! I am so proud of you, and this story was so fuking fantastic, I wish I could buy it! I don't know what else to say... Keep writing, I expect more great work from you! Thank you so much for finishing this, too. Now my mind is at rest.
Fang.
13VelvetyCheerioOMFG best ending to a story I have ever wanted to read! It made the hairs on my head stand up, that was so cool! 8D Beatles, that was like... I don't even know! But it was AWESOME!
[Sunlit corridors; ream upon ream of paper; cinnamon skin.] I loved this line, so simple, so image filled! Is this already on my favorites? Damn, I wish I could add it again. Maybe I can...
[His head felt like half dried cement with pop rocks in it.] [Words, too many words, all sleeting straight through Noob’s mangled brain.] These two sentences were so cool, this entire chapter was the shit!
[Whatever happens, whatever the consequences, I will find out what it is.] Foreshadowing?
[The light was dim, the darkness oppressive; the words seemed heavier with each stroke of the pen, and there was so much left to write.] Oh how the tortured author must write!
And then that entire scene between Noob and you was just awesome. I wish there was a word to describe it, but basically it was that lip biting, gut twisting, body trembling type of awesome where you can't bear to stop reading cause you just have to find out!
[And then they both disappeared: like a wave crashing down on the beach of reality; like Frac boiling over at a witless newbie, like a tab being closed on a computer screen.] BEST LINE EVER!
The last five sentences were what gave me the chills! Ooh! So, good! Damn, Beebee, that took major skillz! I am so proud of you, and this story was so fuking fantastic, I wish I could buy it! I don't know what else to say... Keep writing, I expect more great work from you! Thank you so much for finishing this, too. Now my mind is at rest.
Fang.
7/7/2009 c8 Galadriel1010
I hate you :( Honk
Althoguh, Squee! Ahehehe, great talky thing. I'm too thick to keep up I think lol
Gx
I hate you :( Honk
Althoguh, Squee! Ahehehe, great talky thing. I'm too thick to keep up I think lol
Gx
7/7/2009 c8 13VelvetyCheerio
[“Frac,” said Frac, glowering at Radio before returning to Corp, “does not like the idea of independent thought.”] *kasnicker* Too true.
[The silence kicked up its feet and leaned backwards with the paper, completely at ease and willing to wait.] I love how you personified silence like that. XD
[“Hey, where’d Corp go?”] O:=
[Lime arguing with her Lime-Cat, who was refusing to budge from his spot on the dustbin,] Aha! XD No worries, Lime isn't weird at all.
[“Ha. Funny. Don’t interrupt me midsentence, will you?”] XD
[“BWB.”] It sounds so suspenseful and mysterious!
[could these people not afford proper lighting?] Haha, I wonder if this has anything to do with its lack of life. XD
[“—make her stop, but why would I? Prithee I pray wherefore art mine doodlies, rawrsnarkyrawrZOMGbubbles—”] Oh my. I'm glad I never got into TBT. XD That sounds terribly addicting. :P
[querulous queries] XD
[sound turned to custard.] *kasnicker* How interesting.
I can't believe you made this out to be a giant smoking circle, Beebee. XD Though, from what I just read, yu would have to be as high as a kite just to keep up with that.
[To Noob it grew to engulf his face and head and mind so much that it twisted in upon itself and became dark; heavy—] Somehow it was creepy and funny at the same time. I feel bad for Noob, though. He just wasn't ready for TBT it seems. XD
Alright, B, you had better not disappear again for three months! That was insanity! But I'm glad you finally got this chapter up, even though it took forever. *coughworkfaster!cough* ;P Last chapter soon plz! kthnx. :D Love you, B!
Fang.
13VelvetyCheerio[“Frac,” said Frac, glowering at Radio before returning to Corp, “does not like the idea of independent thought.”] *kasnicker* Too true.
[The silence kicked up its feet and leaned backwards with the paper, completely at ease and willing to wait.] I love how you personified silence like that. XD
[“Hey, where’d Corp go?”] O:=
[Lime arguing with her Lime-Cat, who was refusing to budge from his spot on the dustbin,] Aha! XD No worries, Lime isn't weird at all.
[“Ha. Funny. Don’t interrupt me midsentence, will you?”] XD
[“BWB.”] It sounds so suspenseful and mysterious!
[could these people not afford proper lighting?] Haha, I wonder if this has anything to do with its lack of life. XD
[“—make her stop, but why would I? Prithee I pray wherefore art mine doodlies, rawrsnarkyrawrZOMGbubbles—”] Oh my. I'm glad I never got into TBT. XD That sounds terribly addicting. :P
[querulous queries] XD
[sound turned to custard.] *kasnicker* How interesting.
I can't believe you made this out to be a giant smoking circle, Beebee. XD Though, from what I just read, yu would have to be as high as a kite just to keep up with that.
[To Noob it grew to engulf his face and head and mind so much that it twisted in upon itself and became dark; heavy—] Somehow it was creepy and funny at the same time. I feel bad for Noob, though. He just wasn't ready for TBT it seems. XD
Alright, B, you had better not disappear again for three months! That was insanity! But I'm glad you finally got this chapter up, even though it took forever. *coughworkfaster!cough* ;P Last chapter soon plz! kthnx. :D Love you, B!
Fang.
7/7/2009 c8 Fractured Illusion
"“Well for one thing,” said Sesshy. “That would require the use of the afore mentioned - and outlawed - independent thought. So nyer.”"
XD Gotta love that logical Sesshy haha!
"as the new skin caught. *"
I think you miss a scene break thar before the stars.
"Lime gave him a Look. “Ha. Funny. Don’t interrupt me midsentence, will you?”"
Haha XD Epic win.
"Like Frac and Mini.”"
And Lime! :D I wonder when that will come into the fic :o
"“BWB.”"
Pronounced: Bewb.
XD Ahaha.
Yeah, I need to go watch South Park or something :x
"“Today? I’m ray play yay say hey, but how are you?”"
XD XD Aww Beebee. I knew you'd be the comically insane druggie of the bunch!
And OMG TBT is obnoxious to read even in properly written form, why am I not surprised? XD And poor Noob. Will he ever learn? ... I think not! :D
Glad to have you updating again!
Frac
"“Well for one thing,” said Sesshy. “That would require the use of the afore mentioned - and outlawed - independent thought. So nyer.”"
XD Gotta love that logical Sesshy haha!
"as the new skin caught. *"
I think you miss a scene break thar before the stars.
"Lime gave him a Look. “Ha. Funny. Don’t interrupt me midsentence, will you?”"
Haha XD Epic win.
"Like Frac and Mini.”"
And Lime! :D I wonder when that will come into the fic :o
"“BWB.”"
Pronounced: Bewb.
XD Ahaha.
Yeah, I need to go watch South Park or something :x
"“Today? I’m ray play yay say hey, but how are you?”"
XD XD Aww Beebee. I knew you'd be the comically insane druggie of the bunch!
And OMG TBT is obnoxious to read even in properly written form, why am I not surprised? XD And poor Noob. Will he ever learn? ... I think not! :D
Glad to have you updating again!
Frac
5/5/2009 c5 11Kirrithian
Freebie Review!
'Um. Is that actually a lime peel?'
Psst! Don't tell anybody, but it's actually a melon rind!
'“I think he’s just a bit surprised, Mini,”'
I really liked this bit, as it just put the ca
ps lock on the sheer delightful humour of this piece, which made it generally really enjoyable.
I liked that it was easy to read, as it flowed well, and you haven't stressed it to get the extra humour in- sometimes a piece can be ruined if there's a joke in every half sentence.
Good work, keep it up!
~Dolly
11KirrithianFreebie Review!
'Um. Is that actually a lime peel?'
Psst! Don't tell anybody, but it's actually a melon rind!
'“I think he’s just a bit surprised, Mini,”'
I really liked this bit, as it just put the ca
ps lock on the sheer delightful humour of this piece, which made it generally really enjoyable.
I liked that it was easy to read, as it flowed well, and you haven't stressed it to get the extra humour in- sometimes a piece can be ruined if there's a joke in every half sentence.
Good work, keep it up!
~Dolly
4/26/2009 c6 Chasing Skylines
This review will live in pride.
I liked this. Because it was funny. :D
[“...” said Beatles, “No comment.”]
As "said Beatles" is a tagline for "...", it can't act as one for "no comment," so the comma after Beatles should be a period.
I liked this because of the characterization.
- Review Marathon, bring you quantity over quality. -thumbs up- Link in profile. Review Marathon is not responsible for ...
This review will live in pride.
I liked this. Because it was funny. :D
[“...” said Beatles, “No comment.”]
As "said Beatles" is a tagline for "...", it can't act as one for "no comment," so the comma after Beatles should be a period.
I liked this because of the characterization.
- Review Marathon, bring you quantity over quality. -thumbs up- Link in profile. Review Marathon is not responsible for ...
3/27/2009 c7 Fractured Illusion
You know, seeing how most RGers didn't care about the blasphemy and opposed the execution makes me mad all over again! :O
"“Beatles!”Radio "
Missed space thar
"Sow remorse"
Show
"Reggy pouted "
OMG HAWT!
Dude, Corp is annoying me majorly, I want to slap him. So glad he's gone.
"“Reggy, our father who art in RG, hallowed be thy Name, thy Kingdom come, thy Review will be done, in FP as it is in RL...”"
*rolls on the ground laughng*
Pfft you whore, what's with the Zion love when you and Corp were all cheating on him?
"Sesshy jumped off the platform and rushed to hold her."
...Ok that doesn't happen you know. :/
Btw, what the hell is it that I wouldn't do? Have I missed something? :O
Amnesia, omg.
Oh pfft, whats with the thunder and ground shaking and stuffs? You're just a lowly peasant. MARY SUE! SELF INSERTION!
Oh and your head was put on BACKWARDS. Pft. You suck at telling the truth. *nods*
See you in the OT!
Frac
You know, seeing how most RGers didn't care about the blasphemy and opposed the execution makes me mad all over again! :O
"“Beatles!”Radio "
Missed space thar
"Sow remorse"
Show
"Reggy pouted "
OMG HAWT!
Dude, Corp is annoying me majorly, I want to slap him. So glad he's gone.
"“Reggy, our father who art in RG, hallowed be thy Name, thy Kingdom come, thy Review will be done, in FP as it is in RL...”"
*rolls on the ground laughng*
Pfft you whore, what's with the Zion love when you and Corp were all cheating on him?
"Sesshy jumped off the platform and rushed to hold her."
...Ok that doesn't happen you know. :/
Btw, what the hell is it that I wouldn't do? Have I missed something? :O
Amnesia, omg.
Oh pfft, whats with the thunder and ground shaking and stuffs? You're just a lowly peasant. MARY SUE! SELF INSERTION!
Oh and your head was put on BACKWARDS. Pft. You suck at telling the truth. *nods*
See you in the OT!
Frac
3/27/2009 c6 Fractured Illusion
"“Basement people don’t deserve answers!”"
OMFG I am laughing my head off! XD I'm so cool.
"“Ha! I knew you couldn’t!”"
XD XD XD Dude I am laughing soo-oo-oo hard!
"“There’s something icky on my foot, get it off, get if off, get it off!”"
LOVE!
dude the basement people are being so funny XD There should be basement-people fanart you know? Hells yes!
Aww Radio, poor girl XD Sesshy must buy her new flowers XD
"An echoing voice sounded. “...blasphemer! You have given power, power that was Reggy’s alone, to a...” some of Frac’s words were lost to cursing and the notoriously bad acoustics of the under levels in the RG Mansion, “DIE!”!
OMG THIS IS SO INTENSE! XD AND HILARIOUS!
CAPS LOCK FTW!
"“Holycrapdon’tkillmeIwanttolive!”"
XD
I first read it as "Holy crap don't kill me I want olives" and I was like, whaa?
"“Oh, you know, opposed Frac, confused Bubbles, dangerous stuff.”"
XD
Don't piss off the Frac and Bubbles, dude. SUICIDE! :O
And *never* Lime :o
"Bubbles peered out from behind the couch"
XD What she doing behind the couch? XD Haahaa!
" and now a glimmer of concern in Frac’s.
“I wouldn’t,” Frac said, managing to convey her meaning to Beatles alone."
What the f.uck kind of sentimental BS is this? ON WITH THE SLAUGHTER!
Pfft. So lame and cheesy. Pfft!
OMG Reggy scene is AWESOME! XD Beatles' suffering is DELICIOUS!
Execution is next chappie then! :D
OFF WITH THE HEAD!
-Frac
"“Basement people don’t deserve answers!”"
OMFG I am laughing my head off! XD I'm so cool.
"“Ha! I knew you couldn’t!”"
XD XD XD Dude I am laughing soo-oo-oo hard!
"“There’s something icky on my foot, get it off, get if off, get it off!”"
LOVE!
dude the basement people are being so funny XD There should be basement-people fanart you know? Hells yes!
Aww Radio, poor girl XD Sesshy must buy her new flowers XD
"An echoing voice sounded. “...blasphemer! You have given power, power that was Reggy’s alone, to a...” some of Frac’s words were lost to cursing and the notoriously bad acoustics of the under levels in the RG Mansion, “DIE!”!
OMG THIS IS SO INTENSE! XD AND HILARIOUS!
CAPS LOCK FTW!
"“Holycrapdon’tkillmeIwanttolive!”"
XD
I first read it as "Holy crap don't kill me I want olives" and I was like, whaa?
"“Oh, you know, opposed Frac, confused Bubbles, dangerous stuff.”"
XD
Don't piss off the Frac and Bubbles, dude. SUICIDE! :O
And *never* Lime :o
"Bubbles peered out from behind the couch"
XD What she doing behind the couch? XD Haahaa!
" and now a glimmer of concern in Frac’s.
“I wouldn’t,” Frac said, managing to convey her meaning to Beatles alone."
What the f.uck kind of sentimental BS is this? ON WITH THE SLAUGHTER!
Pfft. So lame and cheesy. Pfft!
OMG Reggy scene is AWESOME! XD Beatles' suffering is DELICIOUS!
Execution is next chappie then! :D
OFF WITH THE HEAD!
-Frac