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2/1/2009 c1 ribbons-paws
Aw... love those kind of stories.

"Because sometimes, it's too late."
1/31/2009 c1 13blurrylights
I think this one-shot had a great plot, but some parts were written a bit awkwardly.

{"Carson... I-"

"I have to go, Colton," she whispered, her body shaking. She began walking away.

"Wait, Carson!"

With tearful eyes, the red-head turned to see a heart-shattering sight.

Colton and the girl were kissing.

It felt almost as if someone had shoved a glass wedge into her heart, fully tearing it in half.

"I get it, Colton. I know," whispered Carson as Colton and the girl were separated.

"So you know? You know how I feel?" Colton asked, hope striking his heart. Carson smiled through the crystal tears falling down her cheeks. She nodded sadly.

"Yeah. I know you hate me."}

That entire passage was a little odd to me, because no one I know would actually speak that way.

And the ending where the girls came up to him and told him he was bad because he killed her didn't make sense. How would they know that it was his fault?

{Carson had no home or parents. She lived in an orphanage. Her mother and father had abandoned her when she was born, upset that she hadn't been a boy. She didn't have a friend up through high school because of her past.} I didn't think that sentence was a great way to expose her past...I think it could have been written a bit better.

But overall, nice job.

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