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4/18/2009 c1 56felicia13
I love the tone of this. "watching with relish as / it bled sunbeams into your / toast" I love it.

The last stanza interupts that tone. I didn't really like the abruptness of the ending. A more fitting end might have even been just leaving the poem off at the 3rd stanza. I don't know. I just didn't like the break in tone.

But other than that, it was delicious.

Love Always,

2/2/2009 c1 tangerine dreamer
this made me incredibly hungry lol. you use great imagery. nicely done!
2/1/2009 c1 11Dragracingqueen
this is amazing. I love how well written it is.

good work.

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