for Crash Landing on 12th Street6/9/2009 c2 dibsxonxcinderella
Hey there! I love this story! It's really interesting.
I see that you haven't updated in, like, three months, so I was just wondering if you're going to continue it. If it's just taking you a while to update then that's totally cool, take your time! But if you've discontinued the story do you think you could just tell me so that I don't keep coming back and looking? Thanks!
Wow that sounded a lot more rude than I meant for it to be. Sorry! I'm actually a really nice person. I think I might just come off as rude on the computer because of the way I write. :( So anyway, great stuff! You have perfect punctuation and your characters are interesting. Maybe show us more of what Kayla is thinking? Sometimes I wonder why she reacted that way or what was going on in her head.
Overall: awesome job! I'll be checking back soon!
Hey there! I love this story! It's really interesting.
I see that you haven't updated in, like, three months, so I was just wondering if you're going to continue it. If it's just taking you a while to update then that's totally cool, take your time! But if you've discontinued the story do you think you could just tell me so that I don't keep coming back and looking? Thanks!
Wow that sounded a lot more rude than I meant for it to be. Sorry! I'm actually a really nice person. I think I might just come off as rude on the computer because of the way I write. :( So anyway, great stuff! You have perfect punctuation and your characters are interesting. Maybe show us more of what Kayla is thinking? Sometimes I wonder why she reacted that way or what was going on in her head.
Overall: awesome job! I'll be checking back soon!
4/5/2009 c2 
5Number One Dancing Queen
Okay is it just me or does Trenton have a temper? Anyways it was a good chapter. Update ASAP!
5Number One Dancing QueenOkay is it just me or does Trenton have a temper? Anyways it was a good chapter. Update ASAP!
4/1/2009 c2 Maelne
It was good in the sense that you put information in and a sense of foreshadowing. When you get writer's block, just try and look at the story in different ways. Or you could just think of why you wanted to write the story in the first place and where you wanted it to go, like was there a point in writing this story? I am very interested in this story and can't wait for the next chapter :)
It was good in the sense that you put information in and a sense of foreshadowing. When you get writer's block, just try and look at the story in different ways. Or you could just think of why you wanted to write the story in the first place and where you wanted it to go, like was there a point in writing this story? I am very interested in this story and can't wait for the next chapter :)
3/29/2009 c2 14Kicon
Yay! I totally forgot about this story, but I remember now how much I love it! Try not to wait so long to update next time, kk? KK ^^
14KiconYay! I totally forgot about this story, but I remember now how much I love it! Try not to wait so long to update next time, kk? KK ^^
3/29/2009 c2 Anonymous
Even if this chapter was fillery, I like it. It gives us more insight into the ever-elusive Trenton. I'd really like to see another update soon. Great job.
Even if this chapter was fillery, I like it. It gives us more insight into the ever-elusive Trenton. I'd really like to see another update soon. Great job.
3/29/2009 c2 rachelaine
Well, Kayla didn't actually go out to eat, she went to work, at least that's how I read into that section.
Also, when was Kayla and Max's date supposed to be? Because I read it as it was supposed to be that day after work, but then when Kayla arrived to Trenton's house she said she was going to make him lunch... that doesn't really make sense since they got out of work at 5pm.
Specify more. More details. You didn't mention about her morning of getting ready at all. That would make things a little more interesting having more details in there.
Anyways, good job. :)
Well, Kayla didn't actually go out to eat, she went to work, at least that's how I read into that section.
Also, when was Kayla and Max's date supposed to be? Because I read it as it was supposed to be that day after work, but then when Kayla arrived to Trenton's house she said she was going to make him lunch... that doesn't really make sense since they got out of work at 5pm.
Specify more. More details. You didn't mention about her morning of getting ready at all. That would make things a little more interesting having more details in there.
Anyways, good job. :)
3/29/2009 c2 MarloCarlo10
Lol just a tad fillery but thats ok, most stories have at least one ;)
I'm surprised she found chicken soup of all things in the house!
And yogurt is delish!
Does her mom work alot or something? She seems really lonely..
Lol just a tad fillery but thats ok, most stories have at least one ;)
I'm surprised she found chicken soup of all things in the house!
And yogurt is delish!
Does her mom work alot or something? She seems really lonely..
2/15/2009 c1 mizuki-chan23
so you really DID put up this story...
You KNOW Alfr- No wait, ROLO and I would kill you eventually right?:(
I hate you!:(
so you really DID put up this story...
You KNOW Alfr- No wait, ROLO and I would kill you eventually right?:(
I hate you!:(
2/10/2009 c1 rachelaine
there were a few minor mistakes but didn't upset the flow of the story at all. :)
One suggestion, I think Trenton and Max should have Black hair with the crystal blue eyes. That's just what I picture them with when reading. :P :)
And also, it sounds a little middle school-ish. :P How old are they anyways?
there were a few minor mistakes but didn't upset the flow of the story at all. :)
One suggestion, I think Trenton and Max should have Black hair with the crystal blue eyes. That's just what I picture them with when reading. :P :)
And also, it sounds a little middle school-ish. :P How old are they anyways?
2/8/2009 c1 3Tasha Mandaire
What an interesting beginning! I can't wait for this story to further develop! ^.^
~*~*~*~*~*~*~TASH~*~*~*~*~*~*~
3Tasha MandaireWhat an interesting beginning! I can't wait for this story to further develop! ^.^
~*~*~*~*~*~*~TASH~*~*~*~*~*~*~