
3/2/2009 c1
612simpleplan13
"Stat taco drops of moisture create a rhythm as dew falls from the leaves"... Did you mean staccato?
"And the empty forest feels the suns absence and silence as a loss."... sun's
"For water will say what tree and land cannot/Will tell all a story with every gurgle and gasp"... this didn't really make sense to me. How can tree and land cannot will tell? Unless you were referring back to the water. In which case I think you need to rephrase it. Actually all the phrasing in that stanza is oddly phrased.
I really liked the piece. Your descriptions were absolutely amazing. Your word choices and imagery were great. The ending was a bit of a letdown though. Kind of preachy and not as beautifully worded. Still, really nice piece.

"Stat taco drops of moisture create a rhythm as dew falls from the leaves"... Did you mean staccato?
"And the empty forest feels the suns absence and silence as a loss."... sun's
"For water will say what tree and land cannot/Will tell all a story with every gurgle and gasp"... this didn't really make sense to me. How can tree and land cannot will tell? Unless you were referring back to the water. In which case I think you need to rephrase it. Actually all the phrasing in that stanza is oddly phrased.
I really liked the piece. Your descriptions were absolutely amazing. Your word choices and imagery were great. The ending was a bit of a letdown though. Kind of preachy and not as beautifully worded. Still, really nice piece.